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Who Charted? Farewell, Adele, We Hardly Knew Ye

Adele / Photo by Getty Images

First! Thanks to fans blastin’ Trey and his Songz all damn day long like they never heard of Frank Ocean, the Virginia-born R&B beast has scored his first Billboard Top 200 No. 1 with album number five, the Chapter V (135,000 copies sold, per Nielsen SoundScan). Weirdly, Staind nabbed the same designation with an LP of the same name in 2005, but we’re going to assume that’s more to do with the WWE than some kind of innate human affinity for very boring, overly literal titles. It’s possible that Mr. Songz received a bump after he quashed beef with his onetime hero, R. Kelly, but we’re also pretty sure John Lennon’s the only artist to make a mint selling peace. More likely, Songz’ pair of chart-climbing singles — the philosophically opposed “2 Reasons” (party anthem) and “Heart Attack” (lovelorn weeper) — are the reason.

2 Through 10: It’s been a big week for debuts overall, with DJ Khaled nabbing No. 4 with Kiss the Ring (41K), a features-studded set that includes tracks with last week’s chart-topper 2 Chainz, who is now ranking the same number as the neckpieces he owns with Based on a T.R.U. Story sales hitting 48K (that also happens to be the number of times he says his own name on the album). Rick Ross appears on the record too, and though he was trampled by the painfully persistent Now! That’s What I Call Music series last week, he’s clinging to No. 8 with 38K units moved of God Forgives, I Don’t. (The Now 43 set is, ugh, No. 3 with 45K.) Other instant risers include Owl City’s The Midsummer Station at No. 7 via a fairly low 30K despite their Carly Rae Jepsen bubbler “Good Time,” and Christian pop-rockers Tenth Avenue North who come in at No. 9 with The Struggle (26K) threatening to unseat the less-than-pious Bawse. Also: Justin Bieber is at No. 5 and rising with Believe (32K), Maroon 5 slipped to No. 6 with Overexposed (32K), and One Direction are headed to the exit with Up All Night dropping to No. 10 (25K).

End of an Era: Adele’s incredibly buoyant 21 has finally left the top 10 after a whopping 78 weeks. Even though the OCD numbers freak in us wishes she’d stopped at an even multiple of her title (would 84 have been so hard?), this is a massive achievement that locks her into a three-way tie with Def Leppard’s Hysteria and Michael Jackson’s Thriller for third-longest run at that rarified altitude, this unlikely triptych having been passed up only by Bruce Springsteen with Born in the U.S.A. (84 weeks) and the soundtrack for The Sound of Music. The human animal is a strange creature indeed.

Guns, Drugs, and Money: Madonna manages to keep her brand alive by half-promoting and then backpedaling #controversial things like Ecstasy and firearms, but the proof is in the sweat-soaked pudding where her club singles are concerned. This week she breaks her own record of No. 1 Dance tracks with her touching paean to a dying medium (not) “Turn Up the Radio,” her 43rd overall. The next runner up is Janet Jackson with a mere 19 to her name. So, like, you go girl.