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Van Halen Dispel Super Bowl Rumor While Lobbying for Halftime Gig in Open Letter

David Lee Roth / Photo by Getty Images

Super Bowl XLVII may be a whole seven months away, but music and sports fans alike can always go for a good halftime show rumor — especially one with a good sense of humor. This year’s first whisper was that the tired dudes of Van Halen would be playing the headlining spot on the floor of the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans on February 3, 2013. Sadly, however, frontman/mouthpiece David Lee Roth sent an open letter over to their fan site (Rolling Stone) earlier today to officially quash the rumor while practically begging NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to give them the gig:

An Open Letter

I’m compelled to address the now-rampant rumors that Van Halen is playing the Superbowl. First of all let me say this — be still my pigskin heart. That honor has not been bestowed upon us at this time though it is one we would accept in a NY minute.

Having heard VH blaring through stadium speakers on any given Sunday – more like every given Sunday, the idea of playing there live would be like – ‘okay, now we’re in the game’.

Van Halen’s collective memories are – and with all due respect to each and every one of these memories, teeming with been-theres and done-that’s, but none include playing at the Superbowl. Playing at the Superbowl is a veritable holy grail of musical recognition, a highly prized rite of passage for (game-changing) artists. Not a spiritual rite with snake pits or Hebrew school or anything, but it’s up there.

We are not on Commissioner Goodell’s dance card at this time, but we would be most honored to dance the halftime away in New Orleans.

It’s an honor to be considered and for that we would like to thank the rumormongers all over the World Wide Web.

– D-Ro

The letter comes just three months after the oft-bickering band yanked over 30 tour dates from their 2012 North American tour, at first with no explanation but then clarifying with a woodsy video that the band had “bit off more than they could chew” — the stress of which, of course, would definitely not apply to the totally non-dramatic commitment of a Super Bowl halftime show.

More importantly, how do Diamond Dave’s open-letter-writing skills match up against the master, Axl Rose?