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Rick Ross Goes Tropical With Wale and Drake in Steamy ‘Diced Pineapples’ Video

Rick Ross

Good thing for Rick Ross the BET Hip Hop Awards voters named him MVP of the Year, because otherwise he’s having a slump of a week. On Monday, the Florida rapper released The Black Bar Mitzvah mixtape, which our hip-hop blogger Brandon Soberberg found to be, well, not such a mitzvah. Now via VH1, comes the tropical-themed video for “Diced Pineapple,” perhaps the most puzzling track on God Forgives, I Don’t. And the clip remains, to shift our Broadway verbal universe from Fiddler on the Roof to The King and I, a puzzlement.

Although gorgeously directed by veteran rap-video heavyweight Little X, the visuals come across as little more than an excuse for Rozay, hook-crooner Drake, and word-speaker Wale to enjoy a vacation in Anguilla with some conventionally attractive, caramel-skinned women. Producer Cardiak’s soft piano R&B suggests expensive baby-making music, but the rappers are constantly blocking the frame with clumsy come-ons (“She never wrote a song but I know that she’s a star”?). Anguilla looks like a great time; Drake, whose tenderly ambiguous melody comes off best here, gets to wrestle his date on the beach, as the devastatingly pretty water splashes over them. And hey, nice yacht! The Boss’s pineapple cocktail, however, is likely not what his doctor ordered.

Separately, and we hope much more successfully, the Teflon Don has announced his Maybach Music Group tour. Joined by Meek Mill, Wale, and Machine Gun Kelly, Ross will be touring coast-to-coast from October 26 to December 2. Check out the full dates below. L’Chaim!

Maybach Music Group tour:
October 26 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Center
November 2 – Columbus, OH @ Schottenstein Center
November 3 – Lexington, KY @ Rupp Arena
November 4 – University Park, PA @ Bryce Jordan Center
November 5 – Champaign, IL @ Assembly Hall
November 8 – New Orleans, LA @ UNO Lakefront Arena
November 9 – Bossier City, LA @ CenturyLink Center
November 10 – Tallahassee, FL @ FAMU Al Lawson Jr. Multipurpose Center
November 11 – Austin, TX @ Frank Erwin Center
November 13 – Columbia, SC @ Colonial Life Arena
November 14 – Charlottesville, VA @ John Paul Jones Arena
November 15 – Providence, RI @ Dunkin’ Donuts Center
November 17 – Baltimore, MD @ 1st Mariner Arena
November 18 – Fairfax, VA @ Patriot Center
November 20 – Indianapolis, IN @ Bankers Life Fieldhouse
November 23 – Oklahoma City, OK @ Chesapeake Energy Arena
November 24 – Albuquerque, NM @ Tingley Coliseum
November 25 – El Paso, TX @ El Paso County Coliseum
November 27 – Tucson, AZ @ Tucson Arena
November 29 – Fresno, CA @ Save Mart Center
November 30 – San Jose, CA @ Event Center at San Jose State University
December 1 – Sacramento, CA @ Power Balance Pavilion
December 2 – San Diego, CA @ Viejas Arena at Aztec Bowl San Diego State University