Happy birthday, Kanye West! We couldn't figure out what to get you or what to say about it, so here are 35 noble efforts:
Champagne Wishes, 30 White Bitches, and Four Other Proposed Gifts for Kanye's 35th Birthday
No One Man Should Have All This Flour: 35 Birthday Cake Recipes
35 Things That Rhyme With Kardashian That Will Sound Okay Auto-Tuned in Three Years
Your Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasies: 35 Unfulfilled Birthday Wishes
35 Examples of White Music Bloggers Saying "Cray" in Earnest
We Munch Kanye's Whole Cake — Matter of Fact We Can Munch His Cake Hole
Big Sean says the Word "Ass" Exactly 35 times
Liveblog: We Listen to "Niggas In Paris" 35 Times
35 Things We Wish We Bought Instead of Air Yeezys
35 Things That Rhyme With "Sarcophagus" That Would Have Been Better
Our Presence Is A Present, Kiss Our Ass
35 Awesome Hip-Hop Records By Artists Over 35
Young Jeezy's Low Sodium Birthday Cake Recipe
35 Ways To Ruin Taylor Swift's 35th Birthday in 13 Years
Imma Let You Finish But Diddy Had The Best 35th Birthday Party of All Time
35 Unused "Imma Let You Finish" Jokes
Photoshopping Some Candles on Kanye West's Dick Pic or Something
We Glued Diamonds On A Party Hat!
35 Things We Tweeted At Kanye Which He Still Hasn't Responded To, #asshole
35 Wrongest RapGenius Translations of Kanye West Lyrics
Tracking Down the 35 Americans That Bought The Mr Hudson Album
35 Internships That Cyhi The Prince Can Apply For in 2013
Top 35 Complex Lists About Kanye West
Something Something 808s and Red Velvet Cakes
We Give Out Bon Iver's Cell Phone Number!
35 Things Worse Than Having Obama Call You a "Jackass"
Lana Del Rey NSFW Something #Seapunk Kanye Birthday Azealia Banks!
Pin the Tail on Kid Cudi!
Dressed to Kilt: Celebrating Your Scottish Heritage on Your Special Day
Kanye's 35 Worst Looks (2008-2009)
Brooklyn Vegan Commenters Wish Kanye a Happy Hummus
35 Things We'd Rather Do With Our Friday Than Produce Kanye Google-Bait
12 Rejected Posts In Honor of Kanye West's 35th Birthday
Happy 36th Birthday, Kanye (First!)
Actually Talking to Kanye West