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Kid Rock Just Released an Incomprehensible Statement About His Supposed Senate Run

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - APRIL 08: Kid Rock inducts Cheap Trick at the 31st Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony at Barclays Center on April 8, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images)

“FUCK TANK.” Those are the final two words of Kid Rock‘s just-released statement about his supposed run for U.S. Senate, and you’ll get about as much clarity about the Kid’s plans from them as you will from the rest of his bizarre missive. The Kid teased a 2018 senatorial run, presumably in Michigan, with a campaign website he publicized last night. Outlets including SPIN pointed out a number of apparent inconsistencies with the story, like the fact that Rock has not yet filed the necessary paperwork to run with the Federal Election Commission, and that his “campaign” merch was being sold on a website owned by Warner Bros. Records. We guessed that maybe the whole thing was viral promotion for a new album.

In his new statement, titled “Once again the press is wrong,” the man born Robert Ritchie at first seems to make the case that he is, in fact, running for senate. He also says that he will be putting out music soon, and claims that Warner, which released his last album Last Kiss, is not actually his record label.

Once again the press is wrong. First of all, I’ve got 15 days from my announcement to file paperwork with the FEC! Second, I’m not signed to Warner Bros!!! – which simple fact-checking would have revealed. I have recently worked out a unique deal with BMG, Broken Bow, CAA and Live Nation to release music ON MY TERMS. Like politicians write books during their campaigns, I’m planning on putting out music during mine and IT ALL STARTS TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT. It’s not a hoax, it’s a strategy and marketing 101! No plans for an album or anything else that has been the usual norm in the music business OR politics…..and…..

Then, he quickly pivots, writing that he plans to “keep doing what I do best,” which, we have to assume, is rap-rocking.

Senator Stabenow and I do share a love of music, although probably not the same kind. I concede she is better at playing politics than I am so I’ll keep doing what I do best, which is being a voice for tax paying, hardworking AMERICANS and letting politicians like her know that We the People are sick and tired of their bullshit!

Finally, after a Captain Phillips quote and a quintet of hashtags, comes the below inexplicable image.

Kid Rock Just Released an Incomprehensible Statement About His Supposed Senate Run

FUCK TANK. Looks like you’re runnin’ on empty, pal.

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