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For $500, Justin Timberlake Will Sell You Two T-Shirts and Five Buttons

Justin Timberlake 20/20 Vision Bundle $499 Deluxe Rare Collector's

Now don’t everyone go flooding Justin Timberlake’s web store at once. The “Suit & Tie” singer has got a helluva deal for fans who’ve been saving their pennies for the release of his long-awaited third album, The 20/20 Experience. For the shockingly low price of $499, you can pre-order the March 15 album and receive an actual suit and tie worn onstage by the former ‘N Sync star! Just kidding. Instead, you’ll get two T-shirts, a couple of posters or whatever, and some buttons.

The golden-throated Myspace savior may know a thing or two about social networks, but it’s clearly been awhile since he’s hobnobbed with the hoi polloi. Who does Timberlake imagine is going to buy his Rare Collector’s Bundle? (Other than his biggest fans in the world.) In the economically flush ’90s during the reign of the boy bands, it’s possible that a scheme like this could’ve flown. But today? We thought JT was all about getting his grown-ass man on. We thought he wanted to show us a few things.

So what will one half of a thousand dollars get the ambitious reckless Justin fan? The album on CD, vinyl, and MP3. A limited-edition tee with the singer’s silhouette on it. A non-limited (?) tee with some logos on it. Five exclusive buttons. A poster. And an autographed picture of Timberlake performing at the Grammys. That’s $150 of merch at best. We’re assuming the remaining $349 is for the knowledge that only 100 of these bundles were sold, if they indeed sell.

We are, of course, reminded of that time when Rihanna attempted to sell us a $250 Unapologetic package (except that actually included some genuine collectibles) or that other time when the Residents offered up a refrigerator full of rarities for $100,000 (except that was kind of a joke — unless you’re buying). Frankly, even if this bundle promised to give you your “SexyBack” it wouldn’t be Justified. Kinda just makes us wanna say “Bye Bye Bye.”

Okay. We apologize for the last one.