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All the Fucked Up Things About Pitbull’s New Album Climate Change

LAS VEGAS, NV - SEPTEMBER 24: Recording artist Pitbull performs onstage at the 2016 iHeartRadio Music Festival at T-Mobile Arena on September 24, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Isaac Brekken/Getty Images for iHeartMedia)

There’s a new Pitbull album out today, and it’s called Climate Change. This is despite the fact Miami’s beloved native son is proudly apolitical, if not even a little conservative-leaning. The song on the album called “Freedom”—which interpolates the Rolling Stones’ “I’m Free”—is about partying (“I’m free to do what I want and have a good time”), but it leaves an aftertaste of the GOP’s bootstrap dogma.

Nonetheless, that Pitbull made an apolitical album named after one of the great political crises of our time may still be the most digestible thing about it. His 2012 solo album, of course, was called Global Warming, and anyway, you could explain it all away by arguing that there’s no more honest way to approach the impending extinction of humanity than by encouraging individuals to match the hedonism of the capitalist overlords who are driving us toward death one way or another. Or maybe I have that wrong.

In any event, there’s no real way to explain much of what is on the album itself, most of which is just extremely fucked up from an objective perspective. Here is a short list of the most bewildering things about Climate Change:

  1. The first song, “We Are Strong,” is a loping tropical house song (Pitbull obviously does tropical house now) featuring the British house vocalist Kiesza singing parts of Pat Benetar’s “Love is a Battlefield.” Here, Pitbull does actually address our two ex-presidential candidates: “Presidential debates unreliable / Politicians want to politic and politrick / That’s why I call this shit politricks.” Same.
  2. Track number two, “Bad Man,” contains an astounding lineup of musicians: Pitbull, of course, Robin Thicke—hey, buddy—Joe Perry from Aerosmith, and Travis Barker. The song primarily offers Thicke howling “I’m a bad man in a woman’s world / Come on baby, give me what I deserve,” which… hopefully Paula Patton’s attorneys are never made aware of this song’s existence. “Bad Man” is like if “We Are the World” was about 42-year-olds who still throw up at weddings.
  3. You have to listen 50 seconds into the fourth song, “Messin’ Around,” before Enrique Iglesias stops singing REO Speedwagon‘s “Take it On the Run.” But it’s only a short reprieve.
  4. Song 11, “Dedicated,” features two guests: R. Kelly and…………….. Austin Mahone. Imagine how unique your brain has to be to put R. Kelly and Austin Mahone on the same song together.
  5. Not only is R. Kelly on the album, but so is Dr. Luke, who produced the single “Greenlight.” Pitbull, uh, really thrives in his pursuits under capitalism.

The one song with Ty Dolla $ign is really good, though.