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Morrissey Advises Teenage Girls on Nail Polish and the Crushing Truths of Being Alive

Morrissey Rookie Teenage Girls Advice

Never one to miss an opportunity to reinforce teenagers’ feelings that the world is a cold, hard, and impossibly horrible place, Morrissey has given an interview to Rookie, the online magazine founded by 16-year-old fashion blogger Tavi Gevinson. In the rather mature chat (conducted by email), Moz gives advice on cruelty-free beauty products, talks about his early days as an artistically prolific youth, and squeezes in a sly jab at Madonna (spoiler alert: he calls her “McDonna”). He also tells writer Amy Rose all kinds of horribly depressing things, a few of which we’ve wrangled below.

Morrissey’s Top Five Life Tidbits for Teens:

1) “If you think that we all step through a door marked Adult, or that we sign a Grown-Up Document, you’re quite wrong. We remain as we always were, and that, alas, is one of life’s many nasty tricks.”

2) “If more men were homosexual, there would be no wars because homosexual men would never kill other men … Wars and armies and nuclear weapons are essentially heterosexual hobbies.”

3) Marriage only “accentuates the loneliness, because you have effectively allowed the state to determine your obligations to someone, as if you can’t trust and manage your own feelings by yourself.”

4) “I have no vision of the future. I never have. There is nothing to consider other than today. I’m saving tranquility for when I’m dead.”

5) “Life is a very serious business for the simple reason that nobody dies laughing.”

Thanks Moz bb! C U next time!