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Mark McGrath’s Cruise Fest Sinks Under Weight of Own Inanity

Mark McGrath Cruise Festival Smash Mouth Spin Doctors Cancelled

Unbuckle that life vest and defrost those spiky tips: The Mark McGrath & Friends Cruise has been canceled. How do we know? Well, the seafaring festival’s website has been updated with those exact words, in the same friendly font that once raised our hopes so high for oceanic appearances by Smash Mouth, the Spin Doctors, Gin Blossoms, Cracker, the Verve Pipe, Marcy Playground and, of course, Sugar Ray themselves.

To quote another relic of the ’90s, “The sea was angry that day,” and it’s swallowed up our nostalgia in a frothy wash of likely low ticket sales. McGrath responded to his disappointed public on Twitter today, explaining that he didn’t make the decision to pull the plug (“I’m really bummed as well…”) and that recent Carnival Triumph disaster (“that poop cruise”) somehow played a factor in the cancellation. 

Oh Mark, with you the pun is always intended. That’s why we like you despite your hair. As ridiculous as the $649 to $1,799 per person ticket range was, we were starting to look forward to covering this event with all of the highly professional completely gonzo care that it would deserve. Instead of eating escargot with Black Lips, we could’ve shared prime rib with Vertical Horizon. Alas, and avast.