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The Black Keys’ Patrick Carney Is #Winning Justin Bieber Spat

Justin Bieber, Black Keys, Patrick Carney

When Justin Bieber said the Black Keys’ Patrick Carney “should be slapped around,” the Biebz ended his tweet with “haha.” So you’d think the Beliebers must have a sense of humor, right? Well, sadly, no, and another stupid Twitter beef has devolved into comment-section ugliness. Carney has rope-a-doped his way into a victory.

And boy, did the Grammy-winning garage rocker ever rope some dopes. In fairness, it was Carney who started this silliness by telling TMZ, seemingly uncontroversially, that the Biebz shouldn’t feel too bad about his lack of a Grammy nomination because “he’s making a lot of money.” That’s what prompted Bieber’s bullying “haha” retaliation. If you’ve ever called out the school rich kid on his shit, you probably know the swirly that Biebz wishes his bigger, stupider friends could’ve given Carney right then.

As the NME reports, Carney briefly changed his Twitter name to “Justin Bieber” over the weekend, and kept up the pose long enough to troll Bieber’s fans. The handle has been changed back to normal below, but you get the idea:

Carney didn’t just change his Twitter name, however. He also tweeted a “new bieber track world premier.” And instead of just Rick Roll-ing everybody, which a few Beliebers might’ve confused for their man anyway, the Black Keys drummer gave some shine to Devo’s punk-y “Recombo DNA (Demo),” originally recorded in 1977. Given Carney’s previous quip that he needs to be “bare butt spanked,” it’s a mystery why he didn’t go for “Whip It,” but any excuse to expose the dome-headed Ohio new-wavers’ broader-than-you-thought repertoire, right?

Bieber himself has stayed above the fray so far (he’s also overseas and presumably distracted), but his fans have not been so wise, and Carney has been gleefully retweeting their most awful comments. He’s a pedophile. He’s worse than Beiber at basketball and drumming. And he isn’t just gay, gay, gay, gay, gay; he’s the homophobic word Azealia Banks told us is totally isn’t offensive to any gay men now because we forget why (happily, she has since gotten back to what she does so well, music videos).

See, Twitter beef is inherently silly, so it’s best to play it cool and let your rivals’ fans make fools of themselves. Maybe there’s a reason Nickelback basically let Carney’s earlier diss against them slide.