Eminem's New Video: "Totally Bewildering"

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Eminem
Charles Aaron WRITTEN BY
Charles Aaron

The weirdest thing to me, so far, about Eminem's rather bewildering new single/video "We Made You" (an apparent effort to defibrillate "The Real Slim Shady") is that when I clicked over to watch it this morning on the blog of Em's manager, Paul Rosenberg, the first thing that popped up was an awkwardly comedic ad for "My Navy My Future," a recruiting campaign funded by the U.S. Navy. I know Em has had a rather "Fleet Week" attitude toward life and the ladies over the years, but the connection still eludes me, especially in light of the lyrics to his 2002 track "Square Dance":

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Â"All this terror, America demands action Next thing you know you've got Uncle Sam's ass askin' To join the Army or what you'll do for their Navy You just a baby, gettin' recruited at 18 You're on a plane now, eatin' their food and their baked beans"

As for the rest of "We Made You," why does Mr. Shady still feel like the very existence of lesbian couples is mocking his manhood? I mean, does watching an episode of The L Word send him scrambling for the Kegel Exercise Trainer in a death-spiral of anxiety?

And as for pointing out that Jessica Simpson once had weight issues, and Amy Winehouse is, like, gross, and Kim Kardashian looks like a drag queen, and Bret Michaels wears a wig, etc.? Thanks for the Breaking News update, Chuck Todd.

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