R. Kelly Needs Funding for 32 More Chapters of ‘Trapped in the Closet’
New details about Bridget's cherry allergies hopefully revealed
Let’s do this in a way that R. Kelly would appreciate. Here we are, typing a blog post about R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet, the “hip-hopera” whose 22nd and presumably final chapter concluded a 2007 DVD. Now we’re watching a video over at TMZ. We’re watching R. Kelly saying, “By the way, I’ve got 32 more chapters [of Trapped in the Closet] that I’m trying to put out now.” And then he’s explaining that “it costs a lot of money to do… so we’re actually looking for investors.” Now we’re about to hit enter. Now we’re hitting enter. We just hit enter…
Seriously, we’ll be pressing refresh on Kickstarter every five minutes, hoping to give Kells some dough. Maybe one of the lucky souls able to afford the gifted R&B freak’s upcoming Caribbean cruise can spare a little scrilla for chapters 23 through 54?
On a side note, TMZ observes that “Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 7)” is the only time the gossip blog has heard the word “spatula” in song. We can think of at least one other instance, and it isn’t Kelly’s “In the Kitchen (Remix)”: Check out around the 1:20 mark of Swedish duo Air France’s blissed-out pop idyll “Never Content,” originally from 2006’s On Trade Winds EP. Come to think of it, the “Trapped in the Closet” instrumental, though wacky and great, dates all the way back to 2005’s TP.3 Reloaded album, so there’s room for something new — hey R., maybe you dudes should double up?