Steven Seagal Guides Born Ruffians on Tour
I’ll be honest. Trying to figure out what Steven Seagal movie is on the hotel TV right now is taking up too much time for me to think about something to blog about. It’s the one that starts with a crazy SWAT Team-like raid on a house where Seagal and John Leguizamo fuck people up whilst wearing ‘N Sync headset microphones. And now I’m wasting more time by laughing at Steven Seagal movie taglines on imdb.com. For those of you wondering, the answer is yes — this is what tour is like.
It’s essentially the same deal most days: wake up to the smell of four dudes in hotel room; eat something called “the trucker buster” (or anything with buster in the title); use only the most crude and foul language in the van; play a show; then fall asleep watching the episode of Full House where Mike Love from the Beach Boys inexplicably shows up to rock out with John Stamos.
That’s essentially the template, but things do change up. For example, since this is a co-headlining tour, in DC Cadence Weapon and us had our first rock, paper, scissors match to decide who headlined. I brought shame to our band by losing 2-1 in a best two-out-of-three contest to Rollie [Pemberton], which unfolded onstage in front of everyone. But it didn’t seem to matter too much since it was a wicked show from start to finish with people dancing and shouting and jumping just like any show should be. Chapel Hill was a lot of fun, and Atlanta was great too — we played with Ninja Sonik and the Deathset who were cool guys. We play New Orleans tomorrow for the first time ever — pretty excited!
I’ll leave you with two quotes (for no real reason, aside from the fact that we were in the van for 8 hours today and my brain is fucked from throwing a Nintendo DS tantrum). One quote is a Steven Seagal movie tagline (the one I most identify with (which surprisingly isn’t Shadow Man’s “Either you’re with him… or you’re DEAD”)). The other is an excerpt from the email my mom sent me about my first SPIN.com tour blog, which I promised I’d post.
“It’s not a job… it’s an adventure!” — Steven Seagal, Under Siege
All of his other taglines are about him being a loose-cannon cop. WTF?
“To sum up — you fucking rock, man.” — My mom No big deal, my mom likes me or whatever.
- ruffian mitch
Luke doing some shopping at the lovely Citgo boutique
The trail of smoke we saw after passing a sign that said “Monster Mountain”