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“I’m Beatboxing as Fast as I Can!”

CHAPTER 2: MOUSES “This is so much better than school,” I told my mom after our first rehearsal. It was true. At school, I always had to think for myself. Nobody gave me the answers to any of the tests. At the Mouse Club, all you had to do was follow directions. “Dance this way, Justin.” “Hit that mark, then say the funny joke, Justin. Now, shrug your shoulders like you don’t know that what you just said was too clever for a little kid to say.” “What’s that in your pants, Justin? Cover that thing up, or we’re gonna have to separate you and Christina.” I loved it! I remember having lunch with Britney after a taping. She kept hogging all the french fries, but I let her ’cause she was fine. I wasn’t that hungry anyway ’cause of the Ritalin they put in everything. I said, “Isn’t this great, Pinky? I hope this lasts forever. And if not, I hope some day a morbidly obese Svengali will take over for Mickey and mold me into a pop automaton.” And she said, “Yeah, I know what you mean. It’ll be much more of a media-captivating event when we finally rebel against our domineering puppet masters and say ‘Lookit, I’m independent, y’all.’” Then I totally got to third base.

SPIN Staff |April 26, 2004 - 7:00 am

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