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Kelly Osbourne Says

Buy My Album or Fuck Off!

As last year’s breakout star of The Osbournes, Kelly brought her badass punk personality to the masses. We caught up with the most celebrated 18-year-old since Britney Spears at the Beverly Hills Hotel a week before she released her debut album, the aptly titled Shut Up. We ate fries, gossiped about rock stars, and managed to lose her new dog. Thank God we found it or Sharon would have killed us.

How much of Shut Up did you write?
I wrote all the lyrics. The only lyrics I didn’t write are for “Too Much of You,”which is on the record because it’s really funny and I like singing it. It’s about masturbation.

What does your family think of the album?
My mum and dad love it. Jack hasn’t heard it. I think he’s too busy jacking himself off.

How about your sister, Aimee?
She hasn’t even heard the single. I couldn’t care less what she thinks of it.

Was she bummed when you got your record deal?
I think it hurts her because it’s what she really wants to do. She encouraged me to record an album, then didn’t talk to me for two months. But she realized it wasn’t fair to hold a grudge and has been very supportive since. She knows she’ll have her time.

Were you given a choice to do the second season of The Osbournes?
Yep. But I’m not going to sign a contract for the third season, and no amount of money is going to change my mind.

You’ve been touring in America and Europe. Do you like performing live?
At the MTV Movie Awards, I was shitting myself.I was just stuck out there alone. I’m more comfortable knowing I have a band with me. I hate it when my dad comes to shows. It makes me so fucking nervous. He’s the only person whose opinion I care about.

Your dad is famous for going on and off the wagon. How about you?
The only time I drink is when I’m in New York. I turn straight-edge as soon as I get to Los Angeles because I have a lot of friends who have turned into heroin addicts or cokeheads.

Do you identify with celebrities?
No fucking way. They lose all sense of what’s real and what’s not. What’s with everyone inviting me to the Hamptons?! Seriously–go away. Don’t even ask me.

But surely you must sympathize with people who are constantly in the spotlight, like Justin Timberlake.
I actually really like him. He is such a gentleman. One time this girl came up and told me I was fat. I was really tired and had had a couple of drinks, and it really pained me, but he said, “Don’t cry in front of her because it means she wins.” I like his solo album a lot. Me and Bert [Kelly’s boyfriend, who fronts rock band the Used] listen to it all the time.

Are you worried that people will start gossiping about your love life?
My boyfriend’s fans constantly tell me they don’tlike me. Bert did a show in L.A., and I went to the airport to pick him up. This girl was standing behind me and said, “Is that Kelly Osbourne gonna be here? She’s so disgusting. I’m gonna fucking punch her in the face when I see her.” And of course,being me, I was ready to throw down. I turned around, and I’m like, “And why is it you don’t like her?” And she goes, “Oh, people say I look like you.” This girl weighed like 300 pounds–maximum density–and looked like she was going to explode. And I’m like, “No you don’t,” and walked away.