Kind of like television dramas and the career of Chris Hardwick, stand up comedy never went away, it just sucked for awhile (lookin' at you, Dane Cook). But today, comedy's doing better than ever, what with Louis C.K. stackin' Emmys, the explosion of sketch shows like Portlandia and Inside Amy Schumer, and the supremacy of Funny or Die, which even our beloved POTUS recognizes the cultural significance of. To mark the kickoff of the site's second annual Oddball Comedy & Curiosity Festival, a touring show with a monster line-up that gets underway on August 8 in Tampa, Florida, SPIN gathered a few of the fest's stars and grilled them on some of life's most important questions.
For Oddball, you'll be performing in front of thousands of people in an outdoor concert setting. What challenges does that present?
Jeff Ross: Sometimes during my set I invite volunteers up on stage to get speed-roasted and I'm worried that I may have hundreds of people rushing the stage all at once. Luckily I'm a black belt in karate and I can fend them off. I got it when I was ten and a half but I still remember a few moves.
Do you know any good drummer jokes?
Sarah Silverman: What a weird question. You are a weirdo. But, I kind of do: I was working in a club setting up the tables and the drummer from the band that was playing that night was sitting at her drum kit, watching me. I made a dumb joke and she goes, "Buh dum bum" sarcastically — like with her MOUTH. I was like, "You know that comes FROM drums right?"
Ron Funches: No, but I know a good tuba or rusty trombone joke.
Reggie Watts: What did the drummer say to the bass guitarist? Hey man, can we try that again?
Brent Morin: No. Honestly? I don't know if there are any good drummer jokes out there
JR: That's an offensive question. My mother was a drummer.
What's your favorite album to have sexxx to?
JR: Anything by Jim Gaffigan
SS: That's easy: The original Broadway cast recording of OKLAHOMA
BM: Blackstreet. "No Diggity" on repeat. OR the Hanson Brothers. Any album. I love those little guys
Whitney Cummings: Well, I usually have sex to my stand-up comedy album. Power move. If this is a serious question, Frank Ocean, Channel Orange, or The Kills, Blood Pressures.
RF: I don't know what sexxx is but I make sweet passionate love to Al Green
Which rock star would you least like to be?
JR: Susan Boyle, because I already kind of look like her.
BM: Marilyn Manson. I just feel it's gotta be exhausting having to look like that and be that all the time. I mean musicians constantly change and reinvent themselves but when you do what he did and does? I feel like you're kind of committing to that for life. I mean he just can't go and be an acoustic artist now. Although I would buy that album.
WC: Bruce Springsteen because I want to find him, cut him open, and put myself inside his body so we can be one. If I were him I would be very afraid.
RF: Every human has value
What's in your tour rider?
JR: Pizza, pot and pussy.
SS: Honestly? Two waters and two sugar free red bulls
BM: A shit ton of sour patch kids. Whiskey. Red wine. Italian food. Acoustic guitar and keyboard. And Kanye West has to be there just to chill. And Harry Styles to tell me I look good when I feel insecure
WC: Vodka, honey, protein bars, bobby pins and everyone at the venue must hug me whenever I demand one.
RF: Cute nerd girls with butts, cherry coke, regular cocaine.
Fill in the blank: If comedians are the new rock stars, then rock stars are the new ____
SS: Commercial jingles?
Michael Che: Whiny bearded pussies
WC: Porn stars
RF: Orange is the New Black
Which song will you never karaoke again?
MC: I kinda hate karaoke. But if I were to do it, I'd avoid any songs with a lot of N-words. I don't wanna put my non-N-word friends in a compromising position.
BM: I hate karaoke. If you can't sing it's annoying. If you can sing it's even more annoying
WC: Sia's "Chandelier." Big mistake.
RW: "Is This Love," White Snake
RF: "No Diggity." It's too diggity difficult.
I like to yell out "Freebird" during quiet moments at concerts. Can you suggest something funnier?
JR: "Hot Pockets" by Jim Gaffigan
SS: Anything is funnier than doing that. That joke is TIRED. I bet a hundred dollars you first heard of "Freebird" FROM that joke. (Because I did)
MC: "FREE BOOSIE!"
BM: "BETH WILL YOU MARRY ME? BETH!?"
WC: If you're trying to piss me off, "Get 'er done."
What's the uncoolest music you'll admit to liking?
JR: Miles Davis
MC: Hall and Oates. But I don't even think it's uncool. It does shock people when I bust out a "Sara Smile" verse, though.
BM: Aaron Carter
WC: I have no idea what's cool or ironic cool or meta cool, but I love Robyn and I still listen to Michael Jackson constantly.
Who's the most insufferable Oddball tourmate?
JR: I love Sarah Silverman but her farts smell like a poker game.
MC: Jermaine Fowler.
BM: I haven't started the tour yet so I can't make that judgment but I would have to say RORY SCOVEL
RF: Brent Morin and his giant Lemon head
WC: Whatever random Tinder date I bring to the show.
Who's the sluttiest?
WC: God, I hope it's me.
Speaking of outdoor festivals, fill in the blank: It's so hot out here that ____ .
JR: My dick stabbed a hole in my balls to cool off.
MC: I can't avoid telling hack jokes about the weather. Am I right guys? But seriously…who's from out of town?
BM: I don't even want to have sex.
WC: I can't tell if what's on my face is sweat or tears.
RW: I feel like I'm really uncomfortable.
RF: I am slightly uncomfortable.
Do you own your own comedy stool?
JR: Yes, but it's out back in my shed with my podium collection.
SS: Yes and yes there's blood in it.
BM: Yes. I eat dinner on it and listen to Hanson.
WC: No, I'm a comedy stool slut.
MC: I feel like this interview is designed to make comedians look like fools. Please print this answer.
It's hashtag time. We apologize in advance. #bandnamerecipes
BM: HANSON APPLE PIE, FOOD FIGHT FUDGE PIE. I'm not good at this
WC: #P!inkTaco #HaimSandwich
RF: #Sir Trail Mix-a-lot