Vampire Weekend Crack Decent Jokes During Reddit Ask Me Anything

Here are 12 of the Modern Vamps' best bon mots

vampire weekend, modern vampires of the city, reddit
Vampire Weekend's Ezra Koenig / Photo by Getty Images
Kyle McGovern WRITTEN BY
Kyle McGovern

Vampire Weekend's masterful third album, the Essential Modern Vampires of the City, is officially out today (May 14). To promote their latest full-length, the New York rockers, fresh off appearances on Saturday Night Live and Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, took part in an Ask Me Anything (AMA) session on Reddit today. The Q&A was light on big revelations — aside from the band confirming that they'll tour for more than a year in support of Modern — but the thread was heavy on witticisms from the Columbia University-bred crew.

VW members Ezra Koenig, Rostam Batmanglij, Chris Baio, and Chris Tomson weren't as surly as, say, Nick Cave or Trent Reznor, but the "Ya Hey" outfit's sharp responses proved they can spar with Reddit's finest. Scroll down for the highlights.

Q: "What is your opinion on piracy?"
A: "one man's pirate is another man's decorate naval hero" — Ezra

Q: "Rostam, will we ever see anything from Discovery again???"
A: "nxtlvlsht.com" - Rostam

Q: "I heard EK rocks a FauxLex instead of a Rolex. Is that true?"
A: "heading to the appraiser right now" — Ezra

Q: "my ex boyfriend stole my FAVORITE vampire weekend sweater. the red one with the lyrics to White Sky spiraling in the middle... someone help me seek the justice I deserve!"
A: "i will hunt this bastard down" — Ezra

Q: "Since you went to an ivy league school, how did your parents react when you told them that you were going to focus on a career in music?"
A: "they were chill abt it. they knew that if i failed at music i always had my BA in english to fall back on..." — Ezra

Q: "yea but what can you really do with a BA in English?"
A: "read books at the public library...alone" — Ezra

Q: "You could have always applied for a career at Starbucks if things went south"
A: "i briefly worked at Quizno's in 2003 so i know a thing or two about customer service and food/beverage preparation" — Ezra

Q: "Baio, how long did it take for you to perfect your onstage dancing?"
A: "never perfected, always striving to get better! I have a friend who has the best bathroom in all of europe. his current goal in life? to build an even better bathroom. I find this inspiring." — Chris B.

Q: "Influences behind Finger Back? It's such a rad song."
A: "neutral milk hotel (distorted acoustic guitar), the clash (drum pattern), brenda fassie (drum pattern), bach's chorales (choir part)" — Rostam

Q: "And that is why people call you derivative. Such a quick response...."
A: "awesome yes! you totally 'GET' us"

Q: "Do you guys give a fuck about an Oxford Comma?"
A: "NOT REALLY" — Ezra

Q: "Ya'll have brought me from end of high school to end of college. Was this album written with the intent of... making me feel super insecure about my future? If so that's a cruel joke bbz"
A: "WE ARE HERE FOR YOU IN THIS TRANSITIONAL TIME. good luck" — Ezra

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