Panic at the Disco / Photo by Mike Prevatt

2007 might've been the year Britney Spears hijacked the MTV Video Music Awards. At least according the large marquee outside the Palms hotel-casino last night (Sept. 9). This was the first year Las Vegas played host to the 23-years-old ceremony -- feeling your age yet? -- and if the lure of a Sin City setting wasn't enough to tempt the curious, the troubled tart's return to the stage should have been.

So big the red carpet nearly came to a standstill and the table gamblers -- or, the human backdrop to the red carpet -- attentively gazed up at the monitors to catch Britney's opening number, and curiosity quickly turned into frowns and grimaces. Spears half-assed her dance routines and lip-synching for the entirety of the song, looking overmedicated and underwhelmed. This was not lost on the onlookers expecting flashes of her former VMA self. Words like "aloof," "lost," "unglamorous," and (the most popular) "fat" were overheard during and right after the non-spectacle, the gamblers long having returned to their cards and chips (worth zero money, to boot) and the rest of us dashing off to the backstage area, our expectations for the rest of the night now significantly lowered.

The rockers, and the rock-favored hip-hop acts, began the popster parade, starting with best new artist nominees Gym Class Heroes (who won a moonman for Best New Artist), not so much chewing the scenery as overpowering it in their loud outfits. Band MC Travis McCoy promised more of the same outfit ostentation for the after-parties, promising to thwart club dress codes with sweatpants, pajamas and sneakers. His fail-proof plan? "All I have to say is, 'Do you know who the F my father is?' And it always works. My dad is really cool but he's nobody important. But if you say it with conviction, they'll let you in." Even more convincing was his claim that selling out is the new indie, now that pink is apparently no longer the new black. Less convincing was his insistence Gym Class Heroes weren't selling out themselves, but merely in need of a new catchphrase.

Not to be outdone, Cobra Starship -- pals of Gym Class Heroes -- also had a new band motto to toss off. Bassist Alex Suarez maintained that no bling is the new bling, after he outed himself as having less jewelry (a term we use loosely) as his bandmates. Singer Gabe Saporta kept things modest by admitting that his Snakes on a Plane-scoring band "actually really like bling, but we're not big ballers. We're little ballers." Hardly a selling point to the girls, eh? "We've got no shame. Besides, little balls are more fertile." Or maybe little ballers are the new big ballers.

Best Group winners Fall Out Boy occupied one of the Palms' fantasy suites for continuous performances shown during the telecast, holding court with their label family, including the aforementioned Gym Class Heroes, Cobra Starship, and Panic! At the Disco, last year's VMA champs and the sole local music representatives. "We're taking it from the hip-hop side of the world," said drummer Spencer Smith. "They've got the big entourages, and this is the best we can do. We're trying to gang up with the guys from all our bands." Panic might want to get comfortable with its surroundings. The boys are looking for a studio, and the Palms’ recording studio -- where hometowners the Killers hammered out Sam's Town -- is one candidate where they might record its sophomore release.