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Trump Holds Social Media Summit to Bitch About Not Having More Twitter Followers

President Donald Trump held what was billed as a “social media summit” at the White House on Thursday, July 11. During the event, he addressed what he imagines is a far-reaching conspiracy among the big tech giants, social media platforms, and probably Democrats to censor and marginalize conservative voices.

While Trump was speaking, he was clearly stoked to be at an event where he was allowed go off script. He treated the unofficial MAGA fan club meeting—which was attended by grifters, edge lords, dipshitsfar-right extremistsconspiracy theoristswhite nationalists, one dude who calls himself Carpe Donktums, and Donald Trump Jr., but not a single rep from Facebook, Twitter or other social media platforms—to a free-associating ramble.

He ran through all his greatest hits, including taking shots at Joe Biden, calling Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas,” accusing Arnold Schwarzenegger of ruining The Apprentice, having Project Veritas founder James O’Keefe stand for an applause break, making fun of antifa for having apparently having small arms (?), and inviting video bloggers Diamond and Silk up to the lectern for hugs.

But mainly, during this “social media summit,” he complained about not having enough Twitter followers, all while sounding like a sundowning Fox News grandpa. He chalked up his unbelievably low number of followers (which currently clocks in at 61.9 million) to some unsubstantiated conspiracy designed to suppress conservatives from sharing their brave truths with the world, and complained that his Twitter follower count hasn’t grown to his expectations.

“I’ve never seen it before, where I go up, and then come down,” Trump said of his number of Twitter followers. “Sometimes it comes down substantially. A number of months ago, I was at a certain number. You know, many millions. And then all of a sudden I was down over a million. I said, ‘What’s going on?'”

The president continued: “There is no doubt in my mind that I should have millions and millions of people … but I know that we’ve been blocked.” Trump then added a baffling anecdote about how “people come up to” him and say, “‘Sir, I can’t follow you, they make it impossible.'”

“These are people who are absolutely good at what they do,” Trump said. “They say, ‘They make it absolutely impossible.’ And, you know, we can’t have it.”

It’s unclear who these people are, what they are apparently really good at, why they can’t follow Trump on social media, and who is making it “impossible” for these folks to simply smash the “follow” button on Twitter.