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Lil Pump as Harvard Commencement Speaker Is But a Dream

Several websites today reported an absurd but delightful proposition as fact: Lil Pump, who released his sophomore album Harverd Dropout last week, will deliver the commencement speech at Harvard University’s graduation ceremony on May 30. This is not true, Harvard confirmed to Spin, after a press official mistakenly referred to the artist as “Lil Pimp.” (Page Six first reported the denial.) The commencement speaker, as announced by the university in December, will be someone with fewer face tats: German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

The rumor, according to articles by places like XXL, HotNewHipHop, Highsnobiety—and more skeptical coverage by Complex and Cosmopolitan—originates from a press release allegedly sent this morning by Pump’s record label Warner Bros, which declared Pump the youngest Harvard commencement speaker in history. (He is 18.) The release—which Spin did not receive—is said to include the following statement from Pump about his alleged honor:

You don’t gotta graduate from Harvard to do this speech. I dropped out, so they called me like they called the guy that made Windows and PCs and shit before I was born. You just need a cap and gown, which I got. When I found out, I was happy to give everyone a lesson. I’m all about the youth. Yes, they are the future. This is a preview of my speech, one word: ESSKEETIT!!!!!!

It is apparently worth clarifying that Pump did not drop out of Harvard, either. Still, it is fun to imagine the colorful star taking the stage with a diamond chain in the shape of his own face draped over a crimson grown and inspiring thousands of heavily indebted young adults to follow their dreams, ESSKEET the day, and… do a bunch of drugs. Alas, students will have to settle for hearing Pump speak with the campus radio station WHRB this upcoming Friday. The live interview is first-come, first-serve, according to the Facebook event.