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Trump Sends Elton John “Rocket Man” CD to New Pal Kim Jong Un

President Trump and Kim Jong Un are apparently in the making mixtapes portion of their burgeoning friendship, as Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is set to deliver a CD of Elton John’s  1972 hit “Rocket Man” to the North Korean dictator during denuclearization talks today. The CD is reportedly autographed—by Trump, not John.

As you’ll recall, “Little Rocket Man” was the derogatory nickname Trump used for Kim while the two were publicly threatening each other with nuclear annihilation last year. According to South Korean news site Chosen Ilbo, Trump asked Kim if he had ever actually heard John’s song during their thoroughly bizarre summit in Singapore last month. Kim reportedly said that he hadn’t. It’s nice that the two leaders can have a giggle over a potential nuclear holocaust brought on by their raging egos.

In 2016, Elton John turned down an offer to play Trump’s inauguration and asked the Trump campaign to stop playing his music at events. Apparently Trump never got over the snub, because he spouted this bit of nonsense at Thursday night’s rally in Wyoming:

I’ve broken more Elton John [attendance] records, and I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ… This is my only musical instrument — the mouth — and hopefully the brain is attached to the mouth. The brain is so much more important.

Unfortunately, that was one of the more coherent parts of Trump’s speech, which included a bizarre fantasy about how he’d like to force Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren to submit to a DNA test during a debate, promising to swab her mouth “gently” in order to avoid a #MeToo accusation.

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