Happy Independence Day to Halsey, who announced this week that she and former boyfriend G-Eazy are on the outs. Her statement, posted to Instagram on Tuesday (July 3), was so cool it was practically clinical: “I normally keep this kind of thing private but provided our public nature I felt the need to inform my fans. G-Eazy and I are taking some time apart. … I wish him the best.” On the Fourth, she tweeted a two-word addendum reading “pumpkin eater,” the phrase usually preceded by the words “cheater cheater” in the traditional children’s rhyme about marital infidelity.
— h (@halsey) July 4, 2018
But spare a little pity for accused pumpkin eater G-Eazy, whose unpreparedness for this eventuality borders on the comic. Days before Halsey’s “time apart” announcement, he spoke to Billboard about all the new music the two were working on together: “We were just in the studio the other night and we made a couple records. She’s one of the most talented people in music. … I told you how much I love collaborating but when you get to collaborate with the person you’re in love with… that’s really dope.” The interview was only published today; noted Shakespeare fan Halsey would probably appreciate the dramatic irony.
For a true cherry on top of any saga of professional awkwardness, though, there’s nothing like live television. And as luck would have it, G-Eazy appeared on today’s Good Morning America to present the preposterously uncomfortable spectacle of a solo performance of last year’s Halsey love duet “Him & I.” Halsey and Eazy have performed the song together countless times, including on GMA last winter, but there’s something far more poignant about watching a man proclaim himself one half of the “2017 Bonnie and Clyde,” in 2018, by himself.
The piped-in Halsey vocals, in this context, feel particularly excruciating. Of course, this is a risk one takes when recording a duet with one’s real-life relationship partner not named Beyoncé or Jay-Z, and perhaps G-Eazy deserves some credit for getting through surely not the least humiliating performance of his career with a straight face.