Culture \

Trump Staffers Complain They Can’t Get Laid in D.C.

Single Trump staffers are having a hell of time trying to find dates, according to Politico. More than 30 “millennial staffers” spoke to the magazine about being ostracized by most of Washington D.C.’s social scene, and the area they’re having a particularly hard time with is dating.

White House aides say they basically become radioactive once they admit to prospective suitors that they work for the the current administration in any capacity. This is especially true on dating apps where people either immediately bitch them out for enabling the president’s creepy nativist agenda or just immediately delete the match. From Politico:

When it comes to disclosing their affiliation with Trump, no ground is more fraught than courtship. “Trump supporters swipe left”—meaning “don’t even bother trying”—might be the single most common disclaimer on dating app profiles in Washington.

One beleaguered 31-year-old female administration official described at length her “very, very frequent” scraps with her matches on dating apps. “You do the small talk thing, and you have a very good conversation, and then they might say, ‘You didn’t vote for Trump, right?’” she says. “As soon as I say, ‘Of course I did,’ it just devolves into all-caps ‘HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH A RACIST AND A BIGOT?’ And ‘You’re going to take away your own birth control.’” In one recent star-crossed exchange, the official told a match she worked for the federal government. When he pushed, she revealed she was in the administration. He asked her, “Do you rip babies from their mothers and then send them to Mexico?”

Evasive answers will get you only so far, though, since many dating apps provide enough information for inquisitive users to sleuth out their matches’ identities. “I literally got the other day, ‘Thanks but no thanks. Just Googled you and it said you were a mouthpiece for the Trump administration. Go fuck yourself,’” says the official. It’s all enough to drive her and some of her colleagues away from at least some of the apps. “I’m no longer on Bumble,” she says.

The Trump aides presumably getting action are those who already had significant others before joining the administration, or those who’ve dated within the administration. That last option didn’t work out well for the tortured love triangle of former White House communications director Hope Hicks, disgraced former White House staff secretary and accused domestic abuser Rob Porter, and EPA aide Samantha Dravis.

“Thank God I’ve had a girlfriend of three years,” one former Trump aide reportedly said, “because the last person I would want to be is a single Trump supporter dating in D.C. right now.”

The revelation that many in Washington deem Trump aides and supporters unfuckable isn’t completely new. In March, conservatives complained to the Washingtonian about being constantly turned down by potential partners:

“A lot of times you’ll connect with someone [on an app] and they’ll Google you, find out you worked for Trump’s campaign, and then it’s pretty much all downhill from there,” says a Trump Administration official.

In 2017, popular dating site OkCupid announced that an affinity for Trump was the biggest deal breaker among its users. From the OkCupid blog:

This isn’t just a liberal versus conservative thing, though; across party lines and genders, members agreed that Trump was the biggest deal breaker. “Trump?” had the highest percentage of men, women, liberals, and conservatives marking it as particularly important to them. Trump, we found, trumps all other deal breakers.

While Trump proved to be a major deal breaker, golden showers did not; nearly a quarter of respondents claimed a golden shower was either a turn-on, or they could be convinced to try one out. The central takeaway here? More singles say they are willing to get pissed on than support Trump.

It looks like the dating sites designed to exclusively cater to Trump supporters just aren’t cutting it.