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Trump Finally Admits That He’d Really Like to Be a Dictator

President Trump made a “surprise” appearance on the White House lawn on Friday morning for a free-wheeling Fox & Friends interview. Among all the topics the president addressed, the least surprising was his fondness for North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, or rather, the devotion the people trapped in his gulag nation are forced to show him. While telling Fox & Friends nodding head Steve Doocy about the progress he thinks he made with Kim regarding denuclearization, he unexpectedly pivoted into one of the most honest admissions he’s ever made in public. “He’s the head of a country, and I mean, he’s the strong head, don’t let anyone think anyone different,” Trump said. “He speaks and his people sit up at attention. I want my people to do the same.”

Trump could either be talking about his own staff or the country at large when referring to “my people.” Doocy generously interprets it to mean the former and points out that Kim “cleaned house, three of his top generals, some of the hardliners, he fired” before the Singapore summit. Trump seems to take visible joy in pointing out that “fired” is likely a euphemism for having officials who fall out of favor executed. “I think maybe ‘fired’ at least,” Trump said when discussing how Kim deals with personnel issues. “‘Fired’ may be a nice word.”

When Trump moved on to a press spray with reporters who don’t serve as a PR tool for the president and his family, he was not stoked on being questioned on his creepy aspiration of having citizens pledge fealty through fear and intimidation. When asked by CNN reporter Jeff Zeleny what Trump meant when he said he wants his “people to sit up at attention,” the president essentially gaslights him. “I’m kidding,” Trump said. “You don’t understand sarcasm. Who are you with? You’re with CNN? Hey, you are the worst.”

Sure, the demonstrable narcissist who is all horny for military parades and constantly accuses the free press of being the enemy of the American people is “just kidding” when he says he envies the iron fist with which Kim rules a glorified open air prison.