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Trump Hugs the Flag After Accusing Canadians of Smuggling Shoes Over the Border

President Trump’s speaking engagement at the National Federation of Independent Business’ 75th anniversary celebration in Washington, D.C. on Tuesday was a mix of his typically semi-coherent racist ranting, combined with an abhorrent defense of toddler prisons and the nonsensical accusation that Canada is a nation of shady shoe-smugglers, followed by a long, hug between the commander in chief and an American flag hanging off to the side of the stage.

The event was ostensibly held to honor small business owners, but Trump played his greatest hits during his speech, in which he conflated refugees seeking asylum in the U.S. with violent gang members, took shots at Hillary Clinton, and made a confounding claim about Canadians smuggling shoes over the border to avoid paying tariffs.

In reference to the trade dispute Trump recently picked with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, the president claimed that our neighbor to the North is a nation of round bacon eating footwear smugglers.

“People living in Canada are coming to the United States and smuggling things back into Canada because the tariffs are so massive…The tariffs to get common items back into Canada are so high, that they have to smuggle them in,” Trump said. “They buy shoes and then they wear them. They scuff them up. They make them sound old or look old.”

Ah yes, that old Canuck scuffed shoe grift with which we are all so familiar.

Trump mentioned that he read about the shoe smuggling in “in a major newspaper,” but for the life of me, I can’t find the article or any reference to it.

For his finishing move, Trump embraced the flag. He wrapped his arms around it for an extended hug, and even squeezed it a few times while basking in the applause, all while a choral cover of the Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” plays in the background.

It sounds like this shoe scuffing scam might be the new Japanese automobile assembly line bowling ball test.

Tags: donald trump