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Here’s the Craziest Shit Trump Said During His Fox & Friends Call

President Trump called in to Fox & Friends Thursday morning, and treated the hosts, and by extension the country, to a spirited 30-minute rant peppered with contradictions, threats, and self-incriminations. Once hosts Brian Kilmeade, Steve Doocy and Ainsley Earhardt realized that their Frankenstein monster had gone off the rails, they tried to segue out of the interview several times under the guise that the segment had simply run out of time, but the president would not be deterred and powered through their gentle suggestions.

It was a display more appropriate for a caller on a morning sports radio show than the leader of the free world. With that in mind, here are the most insane moments from Trump’s morning monologue:

Trump defended failed veterans affairs sec nominee Dr. Ronny Jackson from allegations of  hostile behavior, extreme drunkenness, and overprescription of prescription drugs .

Trump went on a tear defending Rear Adm. Ronny Jackson after allegations surfaced that the White House physician was a little too generous with his prescription pad, tended to be a hostile drunk, and wrecked a government vehicle while intoxicated. Instead of admitting he should have vetted the woefully unqualified Dr. Feelgood to head a government agency, the president went on a screed about how a good and decent man had been destroyed by Senator John Tester, the top Democrat on the Senate Veterans Affairs Committee.

From Politico:

“These are all false accusations that were made. These are false – they’re trying to destroy a man. By the way I did say welcome to Washington. Welcome to the swamp. Welcome to the world of politics,” Trump said. “For Jon Tester to start bringing up stuff like ‘candy man’ and the kind of things he was saying and then say ‘well, you know, these are just statements that are made.’ There’s no proof of this. And he has a perfect record,” the president said. The “candy man” statement is a reference to accusations that Jackson liberally handed out prescription drugs. “He’s got this beautiful record, unblemished. His son is a wonderful boy, goes to Annapolis at the top of his class, one of the finest cadets, for him to be doing this to this man and this family, I think Jon Tester has to have a big price to pay in Montana.”

Trump endorsed the great “Republican warriors” who defend him, including YouTube stars Diamond and Silk, who have recently accused Facebook of censoring them and other conservatives:

“Diamond and Silk are warriors, by the way. How about Diamond and Silk? They’ve become amazing. That started off like somebody was talking about them on the Internet, there were these two women, these two beautiful, wonderful women. And I said, well, let me check it out. It took me about two seconds to say, ‘Stardom!’ It’s incredible. So Diamond and Silk. These are all warriors. We have great people in the Republican Party. And I think that in one way, it’s showing how bad, how obstructionist these Democrats are. It’s a disgrace what’s happening.”

Trump tried to distance himself from longtime lawyer Michael Cohen.

Cohen’s home, office, and hotel room were raided by the FBI in connection to an investigation into payoffs the president’s fixer made to silence Stormy Daniels, a porn star who says she had an affair with Trump in 2006. While Cohen is waiting to see if he’ll face criminal charges on behalf of the client with whom he’s displayed an unsettling devotion, Trump made it sound like he barely knows the guy in a convoluted and confusing statement.

[Michael Cohen] is a good person. Let me just tell you that Michael is in business. He’s really a businessman at fairly big businesses, I understand. And I don’t know his business but this doesn’t have to do with me. Michael is a businessman. He’s got a business. He also practices law. I would say probably the big thing is his business, and they’re looking at something having to do with his business. I have nothing to do with his business. I can tell you he’s a good guy.

While trying to minimize how much work Cohen does on his behalf, the president then admitted that Cohen did indeed represent him in the Stormy Daniels payoff agreement.

Well, he has a percentage of my overall legal work — a tiny, tiny little fraction. But, Michael would represent me and represent me on some things. He represents me — like with this crazy Stormy Daniels deal he represented me. And, you know, from what I see he did absolutely nothing wrong. There were no campaign funds going into this —

Trump previously told reporters that he knew nothing about the Stormy Daniels payoff. Prosecutors are already using comments Trump made regarding his relationship to Cohen in a motion to allow them to review the documents the feds seized in the raid.

Trump hinted that he’s going to fire AG Jeff Sessions, or Deputy AG Rod Rosenstein, or both, over the Russia probe.

After accusing the Department of Justice of engaging in a “witch hunt” for investigating whether members of his campaign coordinated with Russia to tip the election, Trump suggested  that heads might roll.

We have accomplished more than any president in the first year, by far. If you look at regulations, and the big tax cuts, and Judge Gorsuch — so many things — and many other judges. But the big thing — the tax cuts, the regulations — nobody’s done what we’ve done — what I’ve done despite what’s going on. So I’m very disappointed in my Justice Department but because of the fact that it’s going under, and I think you’ll understand this, I have decided that I won’t be involved. I may change my mind at some point because what’s going on is a disgrace.

Trump admited that he’s still bothered by not winning the popular vote.

Trump still hasn’t moved on from the 2016 election, so neither can we. Case in point, he is still fixated on losing the popular vote to Hillary Clinton despite being almost a year and a half into his presidency.

“I would rather have the popular vote, because it’s — to me, it’s much easier to win,” Trump said.

Trump lost the popular vote by a margin of nearly three million.

Trump said James Comey lied about his time in Moscow before ranting about CNN being pro-Hillary during the election.

According to notes the former FBI director kept of his meetings with President Trump, Comey detailed several uncomfortable conversations where Trump pressured him to investigate the storied “pee tape” and clear him of the allegations that he never even spent the night at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton during the now infamous trip to the 2013 Miss Universe pageant.

Just watch:

He said Shania Twain never should have apologized for being pro-Trump because he can summon millions of people to D.C. for a rally?

All right, I’ll tell you what happened. Shania, who I think is terrific but she made a mistake by sort of saying I wish I didn’t, you know, go public with it, but we know how she feels. But people have done that, and they’re amazed at what happens to their business because we have tremendous support. We have tremendous fans. If I ever called for a rally in Washington, D.C., we’d have millions of people coming into Washington because they love what’s happening.

The Gallup approval poll currently shows Trump trending at 38 percent.

Later, Trump tried to blame the Democrats for inventing suspicion of collusion with Russia to save face after losing what should have been a layup of an election.

It was what the Democrats used to try and make an excuse for their loss of an election — for their loss of the Electoral College that they should never lose because the Electoral College is set up perfectly for the Democrats and this was an absolute total beating in the Electoral College. They should never lose the Electoral College and they did —

I’m not sure where he’s getting this notion that the Electoral College is gamed towards Democrats considering that there have already been four Republican presidents in my lifetime.

Hillary Clinton, the FBI, and various other shadow entities are quietly working to bring down his exceedingly successful administration in the Russia probe

There’s too much going on in this screed to really cherrypick the most inane parts. It’s worth noting that he was getting pretty loud at this point and the Fox & Friends couch chumps were unsuccessful in reining him in.

The problem is that it’s such a — it’s such — if you take a look they’re so conflicted. The people that are doing the investigation — you have 13 people that are Democrats. You have Hillary Clinton people. You have people that worked on Hillary Clinton’s foundation. They’re all — I don’t mean Democrats, I mean like the real deal. And then you look at the phony Lisa Page and Strzok and the memos back and forth, and the FBI. And by the way, you take a poll at the FBI. I love the FBI, the FBI loves me. But the top people in the FBI, headed by Comey, were crooked. You look at McCabe where he takes $700,000 from somebody supporting Hillary Clinton. He takes $700,000 for his wife’s campaign. And by the way, didn’t even spend that money. They kept some of it because under that law you’re — he took seven. He took $700,000 from a group headed by Terry McAuliffe who was under investigation by McCabe and the FBI and that investigation disappeared. He took $700,000. And you look at the corruption at the top of the FBI. It’s a disgrace. And our Justice Department, which I try and stay away from, but at some point I won’t.


This cable news hit is a birthday present to a wife who hates him.

Trump tells the hosts of his favorite TV show that he’s calling in honor of Melania Trump’s birthday. When asked what the president got the woman who shudders at his touch, he fumbles and admits that he didn’t really get her anything.

“Well, I better not get into that because I may get in trouble. Maybe I didn’t get her so much,” Trump said when asked about Melania’s birthday present. “I’ll tell you what. She has done — a got her a beautiful card. You know, I’m very busy…to be running out looking for presents, okay? But I got her a beautiful card and some beautiful flowers.”

It was difficult to isolate the craziest moment of Trump’s screed because there was no clear demarcation where one thought ended and another thought began. The whole segment needs to be viewed in its entirety to be appreciate, especially those moments when Brian Kilmeade silently acknowledges that he helped create this disaster. You can see those period moments of self-reflection flicker in his eyes every so often, especially towards the end of the segment.