Jessicka Addams of the riot grrrl band Jack Off Jill has accused her former boyfriend, Twiggy Ramirez, of rape as well as physical and psychological abuse. Ramirez is best known for playing in Marilyn Manson’s band, as well as touring with Nine Inch Nails and performing in A Perfect Circle, and his given name is Jeordie White.
Addams and White dated in the 1990s, and in a statement Addams shared via Facebook, she characterizes their relationship as being exceedingly volatile. Addams describes White’s allegedly violent and jealous behavior, claiming that he would hit her, and once slashed the tires of her car after she gave a male friend a ride home.
Toward the end of her statement, Addams describes an encounter in which White allegedly raped her at their former apartment while he was on a break from touring with Nine Inch Nails. Addams writes:
He forced me on to the floor with his hand around my neck. I said NO. I said NO. I said it so loud enough, that [my friend] Pete came rushing in from the other room to get him off of me. But I had been raped. I had been raped by somebody I thought I loved. That night I slept in Pete’s bed and cried myself to sleep. Neither of us discussed it until years later as we both had our own shame about not reporting it.
Addams also describes an encounter she had with Trent Reznor that allegedly sent White into a rage:
Trent Reznor was in South Florida around this time and we all went out on night. Trent and I struck up a conversation and Jeordie became so enraged he demanded we leave immediately. He began driving my car erratically on the highway, all the while punching me the chest several times,knocking the air out of my lungs. He proceeded to rip off the rear view mirror and threw it out the open window. Throughout the madness, this was a rather poignant moment. He just couldn’t bear to face himself in that mirror. So he proceeded to destroy it. Perhaps after everything he had done to somebody he claimed he loved was the sick reason he needed to become somebody else.
Though these alleged events unfolded more than 20 years ago, Addams writes that she chose to share the statement in solidarity with women who have come forward over the past few weeks with stories of their abusers in various industries. She alluded to White’s alleged behavior in a 2015 interview with Alternative Press, and says that afterward, many women reached out to her to share similar stories, some of which involved White. Addams writes that she did not go public with the story until now out of shame and fear the allegations would put Jack Off Jill in jeopardy.
In 1997, I was warned by my band’s record company that if I revealed my story publicly, there would be a very good chance that my band Jack Off Jill would be black balled by concert promoters, radio programmers, and other bands and their managers. Jack Off Jill was also warned of running the risk of losing our coveted record deal (which they gave us!!,) as they were certain no one would ever take a rape victim in this male dominated music business seriously, nevermind a ferocious, disenfranchised, outspoken overweight front woman such as myself! The label blatantly feared the big machine behind Marilyn Manson would use their power to destroy not only Jack Off Jill, but my name, Jessicka, as well. The pressure and guilt of the inevitable repercussions of my rape story affecting my band’s livelihood, happiness and success kept me silent for years.
Read the statement in full here.
This post originally appeared on Stereogum.