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Apple Has Discontinued the iPod Nano and Shuffle

SAN FRANCISCO - JANUARY 11: Apple CEO Steve Jobs (L) looks on as musician John Mayer shows off a new iPod shuffle MP3 player at the 2005 Macworld Expo January 11, 2005 in San Francisco, California. Jobs announced several new products including the new Mac Mini personal computer starting at $499 and the iPod shuffle MP3 player for $99. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

You can keep your “Baby Driver is bringing back the iPod” thinkpieces. Tim Cook doesn’t give a fuck.

Despite how cute all of Ansel Elgort’s character’s customized iPod Classics were in Edgar Wright’s hit action-comedy blockbuster, Apple is continuing to cut back on its production of the music players, which are increasingly just ambiguous non-phone, non-tablet, and non-laptop thingees that do most but not all of the things the other three do. Apple confirmed to Bloomberg today that it would be “simplifying” its iPod selection to just iPod Touch models at 32GB and 128GB that cost $199 and $299 respectively. The cost-effective and streamlined Nano and Shuffle will now become collector’s items. Apple had previously discontinued their iconic iPod Classic models in 2014–the “click wheel” having become as passé as a full keyboard on your cell phone.

Since most people don’t even have hard-copy MP3s to their name anymore (thanks also for that, Apple), the discontinuation makes sense. But it still feels like another nail in the coffin of the world’s future population having any way to possess music apart from the loads of other content and stimuli they stream and surf through online on a daily basis. RIP.