Mark Zuckerberg Seems to Think Beyoncé’s Best Song Is “Halo”
Mark Zuckerberg has yet to fully acknowledge Facebook’s role in bringing Donald Trump and his merry band of sycophants and supremacists to the White House. However, he’s apparently sure he knows Beyoncé‘s best song. Zuckerberg gave Harvard’s commencement speech this year, and decided to namedrop two of unimaginative liberals’ favorite celebrities—J.K. Rowling and Beyoncé—to encourage the graduates. He miffed the bit (emphasis ours):
J.K. Rowling got rejected 12 times before she finally wrote and published Harry Potter. Even Beyoncé had to make hundreds of songs to get “Halo.”
A couple of things wrong with this:
- “Halo,” which came out 2009, isn’t Beyoncé’s first major success. She was already well into the double figures when it came to hits; “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” was a phenomenon that dropped just months before.
- “Halo” is fine, but come on—it’s not her opus. Picture this: It’s 40 years later, you’re at your retirement pad in the Hamptons, and your five grandchildren are running around playing with their new holographic toys and doo-dads, sweating under the Christmastime sun. You’re in your recliner with your headphones plugged in and playing tunes when 12-year-old Roscoe—an asthmatic whose largeness of heart makes up for his shortness of breath—pokes your arm, because he has an inquiry. “What song are you listening to, Grandpappy?” he asks. “‘Halo.’ They don’t make shit like this no more.” That’s not happening.
Anyways, thank you for your inspiration and your light, Mr. Zuckerberg. Watch the moment below.
he wins the democratic primary guaranteed pic.twitter.com/EAQJfIY4y5
— jack allison (@jackallisonLOL) May 26, 2017