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Exploit LiveNation’s Near-Monopoly on Festivals With a $799 All-Access “Passport”

GLASTONBURY, ENGLAND - JUNE 26: Festival revellers roll in the mud as they prepare to take part in a tomato fight at the Glastonbury Festival 2016 at Worthy Farm, Pilton on June 25, 2016 near Glastonbury, England. The Festival, which Michael Eavis started in 1970 when several hundred hippies paid just £1, now attracts more than 175,000 people. (Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

Can you name every festival operated by concert promotion giant/Ticketmaster conglomerate LiveNation? It’s most of them. Our live music overlords just announced a new kind of all-access ticket: the “Festival Passport,” which grants the buyer general-admission access to every LiveNation-controlled festival through the remainder of 2017, even if it’s already sold out.

The passport costs $799—shockingly low, considering a single four-day Lollapalooza ticket is $335. Add Bonnaroo, Electric Daisy Carnival, Governors Ball, Sasquatch!, Austin City Limits, Voodoo, Lollapalooza Paris, Wireless Festival Germany, Summerburst Stockholm, England’s Reading Festival, and Australia’s Falls Festival into the deal, and $799 looks like a bargain.

LiveNation’s Festival Passports are on sale Monday, May 22, at 10 a.m. PST. The catches: There are only 1,000 festival passports available, they’re nontransferable, and God only knows what might be in the fine print you’re about to say you “read” while scrambling to get to the checkout in 09:59:59 minutes.

Quit your job, abandon your lease, blow your savings on airline tickets and camping gear—only $799 stands between you and an entire summer of Muse, Major Lazer, and Marshmello. See the entire list of eligible festivals below, via Consequence of Sound.

Austin City Limits Music Festival
Barcelona Beach Festival
Billboard Hot 100 Music Festival
Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival
Camp Bisco
CBC Music Festival
Center of Gravity Festival
Chasing Summer Music Festival
Chicago Open Air
Citadel Festival
Community Festival
Contact Winter Music Festival
Countdown NYE
Country LakeShake
Creamfields Steel Yard
Crystal Coast Music Festival
DCODE Festival
Down the Rabbit Hole
Download Festival
Download Festival Paris
Download Festival Spain
Dreams Music Festival
Dreamstate San Francisco
Electric Daisy Carnival
Electric Daisy Carnival
Electric Forest Festival
Electric Picnic Music and Arts Festival
Escape Halloween
Faster Horses Country Music Festival
Field Trip Music & Arts Festival
Findings Festival
Firenze Rocks Festival
Forecastle Festival
Free Press Summer Festival
FVDED in the Park
Glasgow Summer Sessions
Governors Ball Music Festival
Graspop Metal Meeting
HARD Summer Music Festival
Heartland Festival
I Love Techno Europe
Independent Days Festival
Jamboree in the Hills
Latitude Festival
Leeds Festival
Lollapalooza Berlin
Lollapalooza Chicago
Lollapalooza Paris
Lovebox Festival
Lowlands Festival
Main Square Festival
Music Midtown
Nocturnal Wonderland
North Sea Jazz Festival
Ohana Festival
One Love Music Festival
Paradiso Festival
Popaganda Music Festival
Reading Festival
Rock am Ring
Rock im Park
Rock im Pott
Rock Werchter
Roots Picnic
Route 91 Harvest
Sasquatch! Music Festival
Sloss Music & Arts Festival
Summerburst Göteborg
Summerburst Stockholm
The Falls Music & Arts Festival
The Isle of Wight Festival
The Meadows Music & Arts Festival
The Peach Music Festival
The Warehouse Project
Trackside Music Festival
TRNSMT Festival
TW Classic
V Festival
Voodoo Music + Arts Festival
Watershed Music Festival
Way Out West
We Are Electric Weekender
Werchter Boutique
Wilderness Festival
Wireless Festival Germany
Wireless Festival England
Woo-Hah! Festival