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Fyre Festival Has a Great Investment Opportunity for You

The founders of Fyre Festival, a colossal debacle, have a value proposition for anyone who ponied up thousands for tickets to eat a cheese sandwich on an unlit beach: Why not come back next year, and we’ll keep your money safe for you?

The New York Times’ Joe Coscarelli has this screenshot from a questionnaire directed to 2017 ticketholders:

Well, sign me up. “No, I’m not down for the adventure” is some pushy newsletter opt-out bullshit (“No thanks, I’m not interested in the latest hot celebrity gossip”), and we’re here to let it ride, bro. VIP tickets to Billy McFarland and Ja Rule’s Insta-famous shanty town definitely seem like a commodity that’s going to double in value over the next 12 months. I only paid for three, but in 2018, I’m going to have six, see?

Separately, McFarland and Rule told Billboard that all buyers would receive a full refund, and that all 2017 VIP ticket holders would receive free 2018 VIP tickets. McFarland also told the Times that entry to the 2018 festival would be “fully free for everybody who wants to attend.” No word on how they’re planning to pay for all those comps, but thousands of dollars in interest-free loans from people gullible enough to buy VIP tickets to Fyre Festival seems like it might help.