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New Music: Eminem Takes Down Trump and References Agatha Christie in “Campaign Speech”

NEW YORK, NY - JULY 20: Eminem attends the 'Southpaw' New York Premiere at AMC Loews Lincoln Square on July 20, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images)

Slim Shady stans rejoice rejoice: Eminem is back with his first new music in almost two years, just in time to save the U.S. presidential election.

Mr. Mathers’ new near-eight-minute, hookless epic is called “Campaign Speech,” and indeed, it is intended as largely a Trump diss. However, he only begins to go in on that subject about three-and-a-half minutes in. The droning dirge is oppressively grooveless, except for off-beat industrial percussion thwacks. (Think late-period Scott Walker imitated by a kid in a high school music-tech class.)

Lyrically, it’s exactly the extension of the Marshall Mathers LP 2 missteps you’d expect. There’s a healthy blend of cartoonish fantasies based around (relatively) contemporary subjects—George Zimmermann, Colin Kaepernick, Stacey Dash, the Apple watch—and plenty of dated talking points, suggesting Em’s limited interaction with the world outside his home studio. So look out for bars washing David Hasselhoff, Christopher Reeve, Vivica Fox, Bubba Sparxx, and frosted tips. “In my present form, I’m Desert Storm,” the Rap God seethes. Tremble, haters.

Eminem could either seal the election for Hillary, if enough of the electorate turns out to be Shady XV fans, or tip the scale back the other way. Listen below and judge for yourself: