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The Nine Corniest Lines on Drake’s ‘Views’

INDIO, CA - APRIL 12: Rapper Drake performs onstage during day 3 of the 2015 Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival (Weekend 1) at the Empire Polo Club on April 12, 2015 in Indio, California. (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for Coachella)

Last night, hundreds of thousands of twentysomethings walked to where the sea meets the land and cried as their lips quivered and their hearts trembled. It was April 28, and Drake was at it again.

Views From the 6 died so that Views could finally drop after an almost two-year wait. The multitudes of snap opinions and tweets about the project basically agreed on one thing: It’s a Drake album through and through. That is, there’s one surefire summer hit, some lachrymose relationship insight, and, of course, a bunch of corny lines. They’re as much of a Drake signature as having a bad sex punchline on a Big Sean album.

There are 20 songs on Views, which leaves way more room for corniness. We’ve gathered up Drake’s nine of the corniest lines from the album below.

9. “Like when Chrysler made that one car that looked just like the Bentley” (“Keep The Family Close”)

Why It’s Corny: We’ll defer to Katt Williams.

8. “Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake / You know I love to go there” (“Child’s Play”)

Why It’s Corny: The line isn’t as corny as the idea of fighting at a Cheesecake Factory. Have you seen the menu? Leave the drama at the door.

7. “And I turn the six upside down — it’s a nine now” (“9”)

Why It’s Corny: Because nine is an upside-down six. And an eight is two zeroes stacked atop each other. First-grade observations.

6. “Got so many chains they call me Chaining Tatum” (“Pop Style”)

Why It’s Corny: No one actually calls him that. At least, we hope no one does.

5. “Mixing vodka and emotions, tapping into your emotions / Dry cry ’cause I’m hopeless” (“With You”)

Why It’s Corny: C’mon, man. It’s never that serious.

4. “On some DMX shit / I group DM my exes” (“U With Me?”)

Why It’s Corny: Because DMX group texts his exes in all caps with a T-Mobile Sidekick.

3. “How’s that for real? / You toyin’ with it like Happy Meal” (“U With Me?”)

Why It’s Corny: Because Drake cracked on Kanye West for saying “Swaghili,” but he’s out here talking about Happy Meals.

2. “I miss the feeling of you missing me” (“Redemption”)

Why It’s Corny: Because we rap Snapchat captions in 2016.

1. “Why do I settle for women that force me to pick up the pieces? / Why do I want an independent woman to feel like she needs me?” (“Redemption”)

Why It’s Corny: Drake sounds like the person in a Tyler Perry movie who’s had his heart broken by the bad guy too many times, so he turns to Jesus.