Back in the early aughts, before the White Stripes, Jack White worked as an upholsterer in Detroit. Toiling alongside his friend and mentor Brian Muldoon, the pair formed a band called the Upholsterers and made two singles called “The Apple of My Eye” and “Your Furniture Was Always Dead … I Was Just Afraid To Tell You.” At the time, Muldoon was rumored to have hidden 100 vinyl copies of the band’s second single within their reupholstered furniture, but they were never uncovered until now.
Third Man Records reports that two people have come forward claiming to have found two separate copies of “Your Furniture Was Always Dead … I Was Just Afraid To Tell You.” (We won’t ask what these people were doing tearing furniture apart.) Of the findings, Third Man posted a statement on their website:
Recently Third Man Records has been made aware of the discovery of two different copies found by two separate individuals of the 2nd single by the Upholsterers. This duo, comprising of actual upholsterers Jack White and Brian Muldoon, pressed 100 copies of this single and proceeded to hide them in furniture being reupholstered by Muldoon in 2004, in celebration of his 25th year in the business. In celebration of these discoveries, Third Man would like to share with everyone the cover art for this single, done by noted Detroit artist Gordon Newton.
Check out the artwork to “Your Furniture Was Always Dead… I Was Just Afraid To Tell You” at Third Man’s website. If you reside in Detroit, now might be a good time to rip open your seat cushions. (Cue the chorus of “I’ve Got a Golden Ticket.”)