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Shaq-Faux Comes Out of Rap Retirement for Hilarious ‘Karate Chop’ Remix

Shaquille O'Neal Shaq-Fu Rap Future Karate Chop ShaqIsDope

Shaq Diesel is back! Um, sort of. There’s no reason at this point — we’re crossing our fingers though — to assume the voice you hear on this remix of Future’s “Karate Chop” actually belongs to Shaquille O’Neal, but it’s still a hilariously worthy listen. And little-known Toronto rapper ShaqIsDope deserves some credit for his ingenuity, assuming it’s a fake. Considering the basketball star’s other ’90s side-hustle as Shaq-Fu, the idea that he’d return from retirement to take a few swings over this particular song is an attractive one. And who wouldn’t want to hear the sports titan refer to himself as “big, black-ass David Beckham,” or predict his decade-late 2020 induction into the NBA Hall of Fame?

But fake Shaq seems surprisingly schooled on contemporary rap when he rhymes, “What’s the word, man? / So much cash money, you can call me Birdman.” And while we do believe that the genuine article wouldn’t be above reminding the rest of us, “You are no Shaq,” we’re pretty sure he’d never invoke the names of his forefathers quite like this: “Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul / Chicks see me, they get wet / Swimming pool.” Of course, if O’Neal really was bragging about his sexual prowess and shouting out Rick Ross on a song in 2013, well, we’d be there to document the entire thing. The Twitter-verified Shaq hasn’t yet commented, but double kudos to ShaqIsDope if he succeeds where Serengeti failed.

At the end of the day, we’re just happy Lil Wayne stayed home on this one: