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Morrissey Says Coachella Offered to Go Meatless for Smiths Reunion

morrissey vegetarian coachella

Where’s the beef? Not in Indio (almost).

Protector of syncopal old ladies and defenseless creatures everywhere, Morrissey tells Australia’s Herald Sun that Coachella once offered to nix all meat from its 2010 festival in order to get him and the Smiths’ guitarist Johnny Marr to reunite onstage: “…interestingly the agents for Coachella offered a 100-percent vegetarian event for the following year if I would agree to headline with Johnny Marr as the Smiths.” Moz then added, “Fascinatingly they made it clear that they would ‘not require’ the Smiths’ bass player or drummer…which I thought certainly said something.”

Morrissey, a vegetarian since age 11, famously criticized the California summer fest in 2009, when he commented that he could smell “burning flesh” as he performed and that he “hoped to God it was human.”

He, of course, didn’t take the (veggie) bait back then, but (ridiculous and uncredible as always) rumors abound that the band will reform in some iteration next year for three or four U.K. dates, including Glastonbury. Those, too, are false, with Morrissey’s publicist quoting the ever-poignant Taylor Swift to Rolling Stone: “The Smiths are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to reunite — ever.” Marr’s people also weighed in in the negative to NME: “It isn’t happening. We are fully focused on preparing Johnny’s new album for release and booking shows for 2013.”