Kanye West, one of Twitter’s most active citizens, deleted all of his old tweets today and now only follows his girlfriend, Kim Kardashian. He left us with only one thought, written in all caps like a message carved into marble, clearly emphasizing the gravity of this very rare moment: “BE BACK SOON” — sans period, suggesting ever so subtly that, no, this is not the end of the story, not by any means. But where did he go? When will he return? Is this all just a social media marketing ploy successfully making a media event out of nothing at all? Or did something actually happen here? In order to help our readers find reason in this troubled time, SPIN has come up with 10 possible explanations for Kanye West’s latest head-scratching move.
1) Cruel Winter is actually happening.
2) He struck a deal with Etsy seller Amy Sheridan to drive up the value of her embroidered Kanye tweets, making the handicrafts the only source for such classic West-icisms as, “I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh.”
3) He was drunk this entire time and just sobered up. Oops.
4) He’s building hype for Kanye West’s Fantastic Chest of Twitter Bests, a compendium of his 927,565 greatest tweets.
6) He finally heard V-Nasty and took a professional hiatus in order to suss out the “how” and “why” of her rap “career.”
7) He’s hired Grandma to physically read all of his would-be tweets moving forward.
8) In honor of the forthcoming 10-year anniversary of his breakthrough moment, via 2003 single “Through the Wire,” he’s begun to send his ideas and observations to various fans at random using the telegraph.
9) He and Kim Kardashian are getting married. Yeah, okay, who cares.
10) Kim sat on his keyboard.