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The Black Keys Just Want to Grow Old, Eat Mustard

The Black Keys / Photo by Danny Clinch

After a string of interviews that came off more than a little contentious (see: the Spotify comments, the Nickelback comments, the Sean Parker comments), the Black Keys have given Interview a bunch of quotes that show their kinder, funnier side.

Indie rock’s Grump Supreme, drummer Pat Carney, managed to squeeze in a couple of sourpuss remarks (winning all those Grammys for 2010’s Brothers “was cool, but it was also a major bummer to walk down the red carpet and realize that not a single person there wanted to talk to any musicians — they wanted to see Kim Kardashian”), but then the duo went on to compare themselves to Patty and Selma Bouvier, the twin sisters on The Simpsons and get into a long-winded, pretty adorable version of The Newlywed Game that only a 15-year-strong, indie-gone-big duo like Carney and Dan Auerbach (who’ve known each other since childhood) could pull off. Fun facts learned: Auerbach likes Faulkner, Carney likes Die Hard: With a Vengeance, and they both have terribly unhealthy favorite foods (though we kinda knew that already).

Auerbach even pokes fun at Carney’s loud mouth, explaining, “Before he had his Twitter outlet, Pat was doing other shit to get attention — and it was usually self-deprecating.” He also was frequently in detention, a revelation that explains a lot. But the two reveal they have quite humble goals. Auerbach “would like to not go bankrupt or get some incurable disease,” while Carney is “excited to become a 70-year-old man with no taste buds left who only wants to eat mustard.” Cheers, fellas.