David Bowie’s Spider, Will.i.Am’s Football Career

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Here’s some of the strangest music news to hit the Internet this week:

Will.I.Am tries out for the Miami Dolphins, soon realizes that “rocking them beats” isn’t adequate preparation for dodging 300-pound linemen. [Dipdive]

Scientists name a new spider after David Bowie.The arachnid dons makeup, claims to be a transsexual alien named Roxxy. [Telegraph]

Want to sound like T-Pain? Download his AutoTune app for your iPhone. YYYYYEEEEEEAAHHHHHHH! [Gixmodo]

Lady Gaga once licked Green Day‘s ‘Dookie’ — the album, that is, not… the other thing. [NME]

Yo La Tengo collaborate with George W. Bush in a NASCAR ad. And feel very bad about it. [Paste]

Mastodon score a cowboy horror film starring Megan Fox. Actually, we may go see this one.Blabbermouth]

The new vagina-themed Rammstein cover is decidedly NSFA: Not Safe For Anywhere. [Ultimate Guitar]

This folky sing-along makes a convincing argument for the many uses of a man’s nipple. [VH1]

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