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Ian Curtis’ Gravestone Stolen, Who’s Next?

Fervent fans strike again! First it was Kurt Cobain’s ashes, stolen from the, um, safety of widow Courtney Love’s Hollywood home. And now Ian Curtis’ gravestone, which marked the Joy Division singer’s final resting place in his hometown of Macclesfield, England, has gone missing, the BBC reports.

The stone, which bears the inscriptions “Ian Curtis 18 – 5 – 80” and “Love Will Tear Us Apart” — the latter of course referencing the band’s ubiquitous hit — was reportedly stolen between Tuesday (July 1) afternoon and Wednesday (July 2) morning. Currently, authorities have no leads in the case.

While seemingly an act of reverence, the recent spree of grave robbing does raise a sense of alarm as to which deceased musicians’ gravesites are at risk and demand bolstered security. tenders a list:

1. Sid Vicious, 1957-1979
Cause of Death: Heroin overdose
Final Resting Place: Vicious’ ashes were allegedly spread over feral girlfriend Nancy Spungen’s Philadelphia gravesite.
Reason to Worry: Eager fans might be hoping pieces of the original tapes from his atrocious “My Way” video are scattered through his dusty bone chips.

2. Jimi Hendrix, 1942-1970
Cause of Death: Though details are hazy, Hendrix’s medical cause of death is attributed to affixation on his own vomit.
Final Resting Place: Renton, WA
Reason to Worry: Hendrix better be careful, because after rumors of his mammoth schlong started spreading (mostly thanks to Cynthia Plaster Caster), many a former groupie might be trying for one last stab at his axe.

3. Wendy O. Williams, 1949-1998
Cause of Death: Self-inflicted gunshot wound
Final Resting Place: Cremated ashes; location unknown
Reason to Worry: Wendy should feel fortunate the whereabouts of her remnants are unclear, because she’d have cause for concern on dual-gendered fronts: Some sleazoid ex-Lower East Side junkie could try to cop one last feel, while all her female followers could try and snag a piece of her storied punk-dominatrix outfitting.

4. Elvis Presley, 1935-1977
Cause of Death: Heart failure due to drug dependency/overdose (and some fairly unsavory peanut butter-and-banana sandwiches)
Final Resting Place: Graceland, Memphis, TN
Reason to Worry: Forever “The King,” Presley’s grave has already seen numerous attempts at robbery, possibly to render the ideal impersonator get-up or search for his legendary prescription drug cache.

5. Elliott Smith, 1969-2003
Cause of Death: Stab wounds to the chest
Final Resting Place: Whereabouts Unknown
Reason to Worry: Online fans rage on about his remains’ location, some speculating and even searching for their resting place — but fortunately for the sanctity of the late, great songwriter, it’s like searching for a needle in the hay.

6. Tupac Shakur, 1971-1996
Cause of Death: Bullet wounds
Final Resting Place: Ashes in the possession of mother Afeni Shakur
Reason to Worry: Former Death Row Records head Suge Knight is still seeking financial reimbursement for $1.4 million paid in 1995 for Shakur’s bail from prison — eBay anyone?

7. The Replacements’ Bob Stinson, 1959-1995
Cause of Death: Longstanding drug abuse, bodily failure
Final Resting Place: Minneapolis, MN
Reason to Worry: The Replacements’ fans are certainly amongst the most dedicated, but one would hope they could just Let it Be.