Cue the Chinese Democracy jokes: In a recent interview with USA Today, Dr. Dre claimed that his long-gestating follow up to the seven-times platinum 2001, Detox, could be released by the end of 2008.”I’m just now — over the last couple of months — starting to feel that it’s going to be right and it’s something I can be proud of, and everybody is going to love it,” Dre told the paper in his first interview in several months. “In a perfect world, I’m shooting for a November or December release.” Detox is said to rely heavily on live drum instrumentation, as well as feature guest spots by Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, and Nas, among others.
Between the countless delays due to Dre’s further sonic tinkering and the fact that his last release, 2001, actually came out in 1999 (take that, date-relevant title accuracy), it’s safe to say that Detox is one of the most anxiously awaited releases on anybody’s calendar. But what about those records that aren’t so heavily clamored for — be they reunions nobody asked for, or marginal releases further marginalized in release-date limbo? We’ve compiled a list of some of the least-anticipated releases, and we’ll show it to you in December — we promise (kidding!).
1. Courtney Love, Nobody’s Daughter
The Linda Perry-assisted follow-up to 2004’s ironically titled (we presume — you never know with Courtney) America’s Sweetheart has been hampered by rehab stints, rumors of scrapped sessions, and (alleged) run-ins with Ryan Adams. Daughter could very well be released in 2008, and early advances of the record have been praised as a “masterpiece” by such esteemed critics as… Fox News?!?!We’d say “Stick to what you do best, Courtney,” but we’re having trouble remembering what exactly that is.
2. Fonzworth Bentley, C.O.L.O.U.R.S.
So, let us get this straight: Diddy’s former “personal assistant,” who markets his own line of umbrellas and is currently the host of an MTV reality show, From G’s to Gents, has his own hip-hop record coming out. And his record company’s delayed its release? We can’t understand why.
3. Nicole Scherzinger, Her Name is Nicole
Yes, Scherzinger has tasted success via her membership in the near-ubiquitous girl group Pussycat Dolls, but her way-too-obviously-titled solo debut hasn’t had very much luck.Four singles from the record have failed to make a dent critically or commercially — and the album hasn’t even been released yet. As the record has been delayed again for the time being (with promises of a future release by Scherzinger herself), we’re starting to wonder if anybody aside from Nicole and her fellow pussycat prowlers are looking forward to it.
4. Fenix TX, TBD
Blink-181? Teal Day? Spew Found Glory? Truth be told, we probably exercised more creative muscles coming up with those lame put-downs than ’90s pop-punk also-rans Fenix TX did during their mercifully short first run. The phonetically challenged trapped adolescents reunited in 2004 and announced plans to record a follow-up to the band’s swan song, 2001’s Lechuza, back in 2006. Two years have passed since; maybe the band has encountered a creative impasse — or, more likely, they’re just busy playing video games or something.
5. Shaquille O’Neal, Shaquille O’Neal Presents His Superfriends, Vol. 1
The bad idea of bad ideas, Shaq’s fifth — wait, fifth? — rap-fest was slated for release all the way back in 2001, but has been lost in the ether since. While Shaq’s never been known for his rapping skills (or his free throws, for that matter), Superfriends, Vol. 1 was set to feature an esteemed set of guest performers, including Mos Def, ?uestlove, Black Thought of the Roots, and even, fittingly, Dr. Dre. Forget Detox, Dre — rush this one to record stores immediately.