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I Must Be Emo News Report

Midwestern residents worried about emo youth.

According to a report by WDAZ News 8 of Grand Fork, ND, city inhabitants are growing increasingly worried about their youth’s “very dangerous” emo behaviors. What the newscaster explains as a fashion and music movement “turned deadly,” Brandon Maygra of the Eddy County Sheriff’s Department further elaborates and er, clears the smoke about “emo or emotional” kids by stating they don “black hair covering one eye to see the world in a half view.” Furthermore, Maygra states emo kids vie for popularity via the ‘Emo-Scale’ that delivers status through “the more cuts, the more pills, and the more they talk about suicide.”

While many brush this off as the age old tendency of parents exercising their thorough misinterpretation of youths, others, at the very least those in Grand Forks, are sincerely worried about emos’ “very dangerous behavior,” which takes expression of pain way too far. Where do you stand?

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Here’s what YouTubers are saying the I Must Be Emo News Report:

“Aw, old people. It’s kind of cute how they take everything so seriously… the point is that these people are making a huge deal out of a fad. Instead of freaking out, parents need to just communicate with their kids and realize it’s something they’ll just grow out of anyway. It’s harmless, in most cases. If a kid is going to try to commit suicide for a fad, then there’s something already wrong with the kid anyway — it’s not the fad that’s making the kid do it.” — xquixotic

“It’s obviously a cry for help when kids deliberately apply heavy eye shadow just for the dramatic effect.” — kiloboba

“Jesus Christ, that fucking report was more stereotypical than most people are about emo. And I fucking loved it.” — SP420

“I thought it had a little bit of validity…and honestly, no one knows the pain that they’re feeling? What, because the boy/girl they like doesn’t like them back? How silly.” — tulafazera

“I hate how these damn kids have transformed a harmless word to describe music into not only a lame style of music but also letting the fashion become the most important thing. None of these little bastards have ever heard Diary by Sunny Day Real Estate, I guarantee it.” — ahostiletakeover

“These newscasters are reading too much into this. Wow. When they were younger, in the mid ’80s and ’90s, did they not see the same kind of things from kids at the time? Were they ever really a threat to themselves or anyone else?” — wowplasmatics

Talk: How emo are you?

Tags: Music News