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Goblin Cock

By: Jessica Grose

Irony may be indie rock’s opiate of choice these days, but Goblin Cock isn’t toking. The band dispenses with that smack and gets high on silliness with an album of metal-flavored rock that non-metal enthusiasts can enjoy with aplomb. The cover of Goblin Cock’s debut CD Bagged and Boarded makes it clear that the band is being entirely literal: The cover depicts an angry goblin king, sitting atop his throne while flaunting an equally angry member with a giant Prince Albert dangling from its tip. They don’t mean “Goblin Cock” ironically. They mean an actual goblin with his actual cock.

Bagged and Boarded will still appeal to fans of alterna-pop, in large part because Goblin Cock’s lead singer, Lord Phallus (known outside the ‘Cock as Rob Crow), is also a guitarist and vocalist for Pinback. The prolific Crow is also the mastermind behind such bands as Thingy and the Heavy Vegetables (Crow has a knack for obscure and textured band names). The other members of Goblin Cock are known as Bane Ass-Pounder, King Sith, Braindeath, and Loki Sinjuggler. It sounds more like a gathering of your local Dungeons & Dragons club than a rock band.

Goblin Cock will appeal to the pagan next door: Their liner notes are written in runes and there is a mystical feel to many of the songs on Bagged and Boarded. The slow, plodding guitar riffs and references to fantastical creatures in the lyrics make the album feel like an hour-long s�ance. And that s�ance involves Sesame Street: The highlight of Bagged is certainly “The Revenge of Snufalufagus.” “You’ll pay for what you’ve done,” Lord Phallus sings, sounding quite a bit like Chris Cornell from his Soundgarden days. “Write your will / ‘Cause Snuffy’s coming.” It’s unclear why Snufalufagus is so pissed off. Maybe he’s angry that no one on Sesame Street besides Big Bird can see him. Regardless, Phallus successfully makes you scared of a giant, elephantine Muppet, and fearing puppets is definitely an irony-free endeavor.

There are no tour dates currently scheduled for Goblin Cock, but the band plans to tour eventually to support the release of Bagged and Boarded, which comes out tomorrow on Absolutely Kosher.

Goblin Cock official site