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R. Kelly is “Cooking”

Just when you thought R. Kelly’s sexual references couldn’t get any more obvious, his new single, which is # 23 on the Billboard R&B charts this week, is called “Trapped in the Closet (Part 1).” According to, the “Trapped” narrative is a five-part epic, with each song foreshadowing the plot of the next song. “Trapped,” along with the single “In the Kitchen,” and its staggeringly climactic lyric about tossing salad, will be included on R. Kelly’s new album, TP3, which is out on July 5th. At this rate, TP3 will include covert references to sex acts I’ve never even heard of.