Joshin’ ‘Bout Jesus

Apparently Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan is still batting for the dark side. A few days ago on the tool fansite,, Keenan claimed to have “rediscovered Jesus.” Maynard found Jesus to be wanting, though, and on Tool’s official website,, Keenan told fans, “I wasn’t feeling top notch when I found [Jesus]. The evening prior to the day in question I had over-indulged in a series of bad Molotov shrimp cocktails with a side of Makers Mark and twin strippers…it’s very possible that the guy I met wasn’t even Jesus at all. For all I know, it was Willem Dafoe.” Maybe tomorrow Keenan will overindulge on Old Grandad and realize that Dafoe as the Green Goblin is God.


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