Skip to content

Scoreboard Confessional

By: Jenny WilliamsEmo rock’s finest fight the good fight in a hilarious Web-basedvideogame

They’re better known for guitar chops than karate chops, but on,your favorite introspective icons stop whining and start kicking ass. The online videogame begins when Steven Tyler abducts theGet Up Kids, and it’s up to a Justice League-like assembly of emo stars, including Bright Eyes’ Conor Oberst and DashboardConfessional’s Chris Carrabba, to save the band from being sodomized by the Aerosmith frontman. An unlimited supply of 7-inchsingles as well as special moves–like Carrabba’s “mega-ovaries” attack–are at players’ disposal in their attempts to thwart anonslaught of such mainstream enemies as Dave Matthews Band fans, football players, and Fred Durst.

“Even though I make fun of emo, I love it,” says 23-year-old creator Jason Oda, who spent three months developing Emogame (“It was a lonely summer,” he explains). With crude graphics and an even cruder sense of humor–prepare for plenty of dick jokes before the game’s first level even begins–Oda has created a virtual world in which inflated rock egos are finally brought down to earth by the hooded-sweatshirt set. Not that he’s worried about possible legal action from the Aerosmith camp. “I want Tyler to see it,” says Oda. “I just look at him, and I can’t believe how much he sucks.”