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The Drugs Lists


Ten Songs You Shouldn’t Put on Your Friend’s Good-bye Mix CD If He’s GoingOff to Rehab

  • “Cigarettes & Alcohol” Oasis
  • “Gin & Juice” Snoop Dogg
  • “Sorted for E’s & Wizz” Pulp
  • “Who’s Got the Crack” the Moldy Peaches
  • “Heroin” the Velvet Underground
  • “Purple Pills” D12
  • “I’m Your Pusher” Ice-T
  • “Drug Drug Druggy” Manic Street Preachers
  • “My Drug Buddy” the Lemonheads
  • “Let’s Go Get Stoned” Ray Charles

The Five Most Coked-Up Songs Ever

  • “Cocaine,” Eric Clapton
  • “White Horse,” Laid Back
  • “Lit Up,” Buckcherry
  • Every track on The Eagles’ Hotel California
  • Every track on Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk

Ten Things Believed Only by Stoners

  • The Black Crowes’ Amorica is just an all-around stellar album.
  • Kyuss was the most important band of the ’90s.
  • Valerie Bertinelli is so hot–and also so lucky.
  • The Clash should have made even more reggae songs.
  • Hendrix’s “If 6 Was 9” is not only awesome, but also so true.
  • Quadrophenia is completely biblical.
  • The guitars on My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless sound like whales having sex–and those whales are totally high.
  • That kid from the Streets is like Dylan or Lennon or something.
  • “The Man” is out to stomp on not only our buzz but also our right to download loosely executed songs featuring hand drums.
  • The Chronic is the best hip-hop album of 2002.

Top Five Alcoholic Beverages You’ll Find in a Rapper’s Dressing Room

  1. Alizé
  2. Hennessy
  3. Cristal
  4. Grey Goose
  5. Courvoisier

Top Five Alcoholic Beverages You’ll Find in a Rocker’s Dressing Room

  • Smirnoff
  • Jack Daniel’s
  • Budweiser
  • Wild Turkey
  • What the club gives you drink tickets for

Top Ten Reggae Songs About Kind Bud

  • “Legalize It,” Peter Tosh
  • “One Draw,” Rita Marley
  • “Macka Splaff,” Steel Pulse
  • “Free Up the Weed,” Lee Perry
  • “African Herbsman,” Bob Marley
  • “Just a Little Herb,” Aswad
  • “Let Me Blow My Smoke,” the Ethiopians
  • “Ganja Smuggling,” Eek-A-Mouse
  • “Good Load of Herb,” Sizzla
  • “Legalize the Herb,” Ninjaman

Things Ravers Do on Drugs

  • Rave
  • Explore K-holes, fall down, grab head in pain
  • Blow through Vicks inhaler tubes into one another’s eyeballs (don’t ask)
  • Wear big pants, grind teeth
  • Liquid dance
  • Exchange back rubs, go into cardiac arrest

Things Ravers Say on Drugs

  • “I’m mad old-school.”
  • “I love you so much–Can I have another bump?”
  • “Do you have a pen cap or a key I can borrow?”
  • “Wow, Digweed doesn’t sound like shit anymore!”
  • “And I mean, it’s like we’re all linked together on the inside. Like we’re bound together by this beat, and–oh shit–I gotta puke!”

Prescription Drugs Rock Stars Enjoy (Or, Six Things Found in Elvis’ Stomach When He Died)

  • Codeine
  • Demerol
  • Nembutal
  • Morphine
  • Quaaludes
  • Valium

Most Poignant Eulogy Ever for a Drug-Related Death:
“Somebody was jumping up and down on his fuckin’ knob in a hotel room in Las Vegas, charlie’d off his tits! Fuckin’ respect, man!” –Noel Gallagher on late Who bassist John Entwistle, who died of a cocaine-related heartattack in 2002

Artists Who Have Used Heroin….And Later OD’d

  • Kurt Cobain
  • Sid Vicious
  • Dee Dee Ramone
  • Layne Staley
  • John Frusciante
  • Scott Weiland
  • Brad Nowell (Sublime)
  • Marianne Faithfull

Songs You Want to Hear in Relation to How Many Beers You’ve Had
1 beer: “Get the Party Started,” Pink
2 beers: “Last Nite,” the Strokes
3 beers: “Gin & Juice,” Snoop Dogg
4 beers: “24 Hour Party People,” Happy Mondays
5 beers: “Electric Avenue,” Eddy Grant
v6 beers: “Baby Got Back,” Sir Mix-A-Lot
7 beers: “Panama,” Van Halen
8 beers: “Any Way You Want It,” Journey
9 beers: “Piano Man,” BillyJoel
10 beers: “Sweet Home Alabama,” Lynyrd Skynyrd
11 beers: “Sweet Home Alabama,” Lynyrd Skynyrd
12 beers: “Sweet Home Alabama,” Lynyrd Skynyrd
13 beers: “Tuesday’s Gone,” Lynyrd Skynyrd
14 beers: “I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive,” Hank Williams

Five Anti-Heroin Songs That Unintentionally Romanticize Heroin

  • “Bad,” U2
  • “The Needle and the Damage Done,” Neil Young
  • “Cold Turkey,” John Lennon
  • “Three Days,” Jane’s Addiction
  • “Sister Morphine,” Marianne Faithfull

Five Examples of Inventive Drug Use

  • “Sippin’ on Some Syrup,” Three 6 Mafia (cough medicine)
  • “Strap on That Jammy Pac,” Ween (Scotchgard)
  • “Canned Heat Blues,” Tommy Johnson (Sterno)
  • “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue,” Ramones
  • “Carbona Not Glue,” older and wiser Ramones (cleaning fluid)

Albums You’re Most Likely to Hear at a Laser Show

  • II, Led Zeppelin
  • IV, Led Zeppelin
  • The Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd
  • Yessongs, Yes
  • OK Computer, Radiohead
  • 2112, Rush
  • Quadrophenia, the Who
  • Aqualung, Jethro Tull
  • A Night at the Opera, Queen
  • Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space, Spiritualized