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Naysayers, prudes, and rival philosopher kings may be surprised that Eddie Argos and his crank army have lasted for three albums. But the Brit crew prove why they've survived in just seven and a half minutes on "Mysterious Bruises," Art Brut vs. Satan's concluding track.

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This is why people make fun of snowboarders. Over bro'd-out synth-rock jams, pro shredder turned singer Trevor Andrew tries extremely hard to be contemplative for a guy wearing a sideways baseball cap, gold chains, and an ironic mullet. Dishing out aphorisms such as "Does your money love you?

Because 2008 wasn't enough like the ultimate battle of good versus evil, Beyoncé would like to throw her hat into the fray. Or, rather, her glove -- the silver Terminator accessory she's been sporting, which signifies the haute couture arrogance and can-crushing prowess of her new persona, Sasha Fierce.

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Hunter S. Thompson would not have liked this album. Which isn't saying much, considering he spent the majority of his time face-up spewing vitriolic rants about these shallow kids today and their endless entitlement. "A generation of dancers," he once seethed.