Back in 1997 I hit the retro-rock live-gig trifecta, catching three longtime personal favorites -- Cheap Trick (all original members), Kiss (all original members in original makeup), and the Sex Pistols (all original members who probably could've used some makeup) -- all within one week.

1. No one was shouting “Eli, my man!” or “It’s Eli, he LOVES us!” (don’t get it?

1. I once read a news story about a biker-dude lottery winner who lived at home with his mom on Long Island and admitted to enjoying a "sponge shot"—after wiping down the bar at the end of the night, his favorite bartender would squeeze the funky liquid into a glass for our hero to down.

1. "Wow, what's with all those people onstage?" my companion asked as we stopped by the MySpace stage where a dirtbag choir was working hard (and in unison) to keep the butt-rock flame alive.

1. The only people who could've possibly been psyched by a reunion of the Time are Kevin Smith and the Time.

2. I'm staying at the Mirage in Vegas and Cirque du Soleil's Love is in the hotel's theater and I'm getting comped first-row-center seats. Guess where I'm going that night? To see Carrot Top.