Chris Martins

writer

Biography

  • Fresh Prince theme song school lockdown voice mail Pennsylvania

    'Fresh Prince' Theme Causes School Lockdown, Proves Parents Just Don't Understand

    An entire county's worth of schools were put on secure lockdown yesterday in Pennsylvania when a eye doctor's receptionist misheard the lyrics to the theme song of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. This actually happened. As the Beaver County Times reports, 19-year-old Travis Clawson had an appointment with his optometrist scheduled for the afternoon, but when the office called he failed to pick up. His voicemail, however, said plenty.Clawson couldn't come to the phone because he was "all shooting some b-ball outside of the school." Pop-culture participants and aficionados of corny '90s rap music would of course recognize that as a line from the aforementioned made-for-TV DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince collabo.

  • The Simpsons Harlem Shake Homer Shake Video

    Watch the Simpsons Do Their Very Own 'Harlem Shake,' Homer Style

    Well, this was an inevitability as Baauer's "Harlem Shake" slowly worms its way into the very fabric of the universe. As a side effect of the dance craze going viral, the New York producer accidentally contributed to the gentrification of an emerging genre before scoring a No. 1 placement (two weeks running) on Billboard's Hot 100 chart. The track also got a high-schooler arrested, inspired peaceful revolution in Egypt, and gave Azealia Banks yet another opportunity to explore her deep thoughts about homophobic slurs.

  • Buke and Gase 'General Dome' Video Album

    Buke and Gase Take a Cautionary Drug Trip in 'General Dome' Video

    When we first heard Buke and Gase's "General Dome," we frankly found it terrifying. But we had no idea. The incredibly tense paranoia-inducer has now been set to video footage that only increases those traits. J.D. Molero directs, drenching what appears to be a vintage anti-drug PSA in digital distortion. All of the terrible convulsing, inexplicable cobras, and creepy old ladies in the original footage appear infinitely more worrisome when turned into smeary visions of minute hyper-colored squares. Had this guy, and this song, been around whenever the cautionary clip was made, there's a good chance casual drug use would be a thing of the very distant past. "General Dome," of course, hails from Buke and Gase's recently released album General Dome, which SPIN's Jessica Hopper described as "revving, unafraid, and loud." And did we mention it's kinda scary? Right. Well, it is.

  • Tegan and Sara 'Now I'm All Messed Up' Lyric Video Heartthrob

    Watch Tegan and Sara's Handwritten 'Now I'm All Messed Up' Lyric Video

    SPIN cover stars Tegan and Sara were aiming high when they crafted their freshly released seventh album, Heartthrob, even if some of the songs' influences came from serious emotional lows. The Quin sisters have just released a lyric video for one such standout, which our reviewer Jon Young described quite aptly: "For flaming, deranged drama, however, there's no topping 'Now I'm All Messed Up,' a masterpiece of controlled tension that starts slowly with morose observations like, 'Why won't you just comfort me?' before erupting into full-blast melodrama, with tortured voices exclaiming, 'Go / Please stay!' in a furious tug-of-war." Which is why a lyric video for this song is more than warranted (and perhaps less disconcerting than watching two of our favorite chart-climbing artists go utterly mad on camera).

  • Total Control 'Sweaty' Video

    See Total Control's Totally Bleak 'Sweaty' Video

    Total Control may be from Australia, but the post-punk posse are capable of an almost Nordic sense of pacing and breadth. While other outpourings from the Melbourne band have ranged from fast-paced hardcore to fuzzed-out minimal techno, the song "Sweaty" is as grand as a glacier, beginning with a pensive swarm of humming guitar notes as main man Dan Stewart drawls out cryptic poetry about hunger, souls, and crank. We believe him when he claims the latter "ain't in [his] veins" — this is a slowly moving masterpiece that soon turns into a grinding squall of wasteland ambience. Though the video above offers a series of disconnected clips, it well captures the song's bleak feel. "Sweaty" appears on Total Control's 2012 split with Thee Oh Sees — the former's half of the thing is streaming on Bandcamp, and it's worth your time. The Oz destroyers come to the U.S.

  • Small Black 'Free at Dawn' Limits of Desire Album

    Hear Small Black's Liberating 'Free at Dawn,' an Epic Answer to Chillwave's Past

    Chillwavers have aged better than most progenitors of hashtaggable micro-genres, and Small Black are no exception. Their 2010 debut Small Chain was a little late to the sun-baked game, but rather than get hung up on that fact, the Brooklyn quartet ran an aggressive campaign of creative reinvention. They sampled Nicki Minaj. They got Das Racist's Heems to lay down a couple of verses. They made that pretty freaking radical Moon Killer mixtape. And then the dudes hit the studio, and while there, singer Josh Kolenik told SPIN he's done with "any sort of haze or crud ... We're going to live or die by our vocals and there's no sweeping it under the rug." Enter Limits of Desire, the group's official sophomore album, due May 14 on Jagjaguwar, and our first real taste of the thing: "Free at Dawn." Stream the song below to hear an effort that's both more minimal and more expansive.

  • RZA Sampling Lawsuit Kanye West Dark Fantasy

    RZA Fights 'Extortion' in Kanye Copyright Infringement Case

    Copyright infringement lawsuits should, within a range of "some" to "most" of the time, be taken very seriously. They exist for a reason: to protect works of art from the sort of creative and/or commercial pillaging that could result in the original losing its place in both zeitgeist and market. But they've also become an easy way for publishing companies to scare up a little cash (and intimidate artistic experimentation) with formal accusations often ending in settlements.But the RZA ain't having that.

  • Chelsea Light Moving Thurston Moore Birthday Party Basement

    Watch Chelsea Light Moving Play a Guy Named Trevor's Birthday Party

    When Thurston Moore announced the impending arrival of the ear-popping self-titled debut from Chelsea Light Moving, he also bragged that his new band was down "to detonate any birthday party, wedding or hullaboo in any country, planet or stratosphere." Two weeks ago, our pals at Brooklyn Vegan called the Sonic Youth founder's bluff and, well, guess who popped up in the comments thread. Yup, Big Trizzy Mo' himself.Moore wrote, "i'm thinking sick house basement birthday party --- gonna see about inviting some heavy peeps like alice cooper." As it turns out, he's made good on a solid 50 percent of that statement, which is enough to provide us with the clips above and below.

  • Houses / Photo by Dan Monick

    See Houses' Pre-Apocalyptic 'Beginnings' Video

    All the way back in 2010, Northern California's Lefse Records released Houses' understated debut, All Night. Those 10 songs amounted to an incredibly intimate set of blissed-out, electro-organic soul penned by Dexter Tortoriello and Megan Messina while they were living in a Hawaiian cabin without jobs. A lot has changed since — the couple moved to Los Angeles, and their former hobby now has the look of a serious career — but the duo called Houses still understand how important physical context is to their art.Their sophomore album A Quiet Darkness is due April 16 on Downtown Records, and it was partly recorded in abandoned homes located along the Californian portion of Interstate 10. And as it turns out, those houses are also part of the album's narrative, which follows a husband and wife's attempts to reconnect after a nuclear disaster separates them.

  • Chris Brown Rihanna Law & Order SVU Episode

    Chris Brown and Rihanna's 'Law & Order' Aptly Depicts Our Worst Fears

    First things first, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit is a television crime drama on a major network. It is among the ham-handed best that one of the worst and most salacious genres in mainstream entertainment has to offer. It never has and never shall be The Wire. Deal with it. But there are two things you can count on from SVU: 1) that it will turn juicy, real-life stories into even juicier "ripped-from-the-headlines" dramas, and 2) that it'll be better than that awful show with the chick with the bangs."Funny Valentine" is the series' most recent episode and, as previously noted, its plotline follows two lovestruck pop singers caught in an abusive relationship very much inspired by Chris Brown and Rihanna's exasperatingly public and potentially dangerous affair.

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